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The PC Poem That Came In From The Cold

Crispin Thomas

Friday, January 8th, 2010

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 now this one came in from earlier on
and we have to believe what we’re told
but apparently games are in danger
and all on account of the cold?

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 and not just the game but the players
the pitch and the flags and the ball
the goal posts could freeze and collapse on a goalie
the stands could all tumble and fall

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 i’m talkin’ about health and safely
no-one go out anywhere
let’s all stay in forever and ever
it’s just far too scary out there

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 don’t even clean up your doorstep
you could trip on your mat just like that
chuck out your scraps for the birdies
but remember watch out for the cat !

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 and turn off your TV before you crash out
in case it blows up while you sleep
and open your door very slowly
’cause it could be a hundred foot deep !

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 and make sure your candles have barbed wire
a mouse could leap in from the cold
and even if you’re only just seventeen
pretend that your ancient and old

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 yes it’s ‘snow’ joke for fans who like football
we’ve all become extra PC
how did we manage all those years ago
when we’re completely carefree ?

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 people could slip up on icy white streets
like we’ve been doing all day
a snowball could land on the refereee’s bottom
we’d have to inform the F.A

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 football ground toilets could all get jammed up
we could get locked in together
the gates could freeze up and we couldn’t get out
we’d be stuck there forever and ever

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 have we all become so namby pamby..
why can’t we walk to the games?
we could all carry each other
I wouldn’t be that ashamed

11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 but we might all panic if snowballs flew round
it could be a snowman disaster
all of our breath could just turn into ice
so please don’t break out into laughter!

12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 but how come the stations and airports survive?
ev’ryone seems to be coping
and big shopping malls who don’t clean up their streets
I notice that they all stay open?

13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 yes it’s snow joke for fans who like football
we’ve all become extra PC
how did we manage all those years ago
when we we’re completely carefree ?

Notes

Health & Safety PC nightmare eh.Oh what have we become?.
I know it’s a bit dangerous but please..don’t get me started about surrounding streets..(and also don’t wear wellies or trainers on ice! ouch) …but i’m reminded we have 1% of the world population but 1/5th (20% in old money) of the CCTV cameras in the world (4.2 million in the UK at the last count(and that doesn’t include the ones inside corner shops etc)! aaaaaaaaaaaaargh

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/the-pc-poem-that-came-in-from-the-cold/