Team Effort : The Big Read : fun with puns
The Big Read : fun with puns
Footballers poll.
Reading. Books. Titles.
Shortlisted :
~ i ~
Jane Ayr
Gone With The Wyn Davies
Watch 22
Sons and Rovers
The Chelseakers
Art o’missed Foul
Hornblower and the Tottenham Hotspur
Sun Jihai Also Rises
Steve Death in the Afternoon
Rosenthal and Joey Jones (stern) are Red
Beats, Shoots and Leeds
The Prisoner of Zenden
Sodom and Zamora
Dithering Whites
Robbed Roy
Test of the D’erby games
The story of tracing Tim Breaker
Goodnight Mister Thome
A Suitable Bhoy
Shinguards! Shinguards!
~ ii ~
This Sporting Poet Life
~ iii ~
All Quiet on the Ujpesten Front
Gray Miserables
Beowolves
To Thrill a Dorking Bird
The Joy of Becks
Mr. Midfieldman Hornblower
Paradise Lost [2-0]
Gerry Peyton Place
Sven and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
Svens and Svensibility
Under Ron Greenwood Tree
Long Day’s Juve Inter Night
~ iv ~
Michael Robinson Crusoe
Darren Huckerby Finn
The Millwall On The Floss
Silas Paul Mariner
De Profundis, The Ballad Of Reading Fc
A Christmas Roy Carroll
The Portrait Of Eddie Gray
Under Milk Cup Wood
The Rhyme Of The Ancient Paul Mariner
Legless ‘n Gazza
A Stamford Bridge Too Far
The Illustrated Fan
Andy King Lear
The Adventures of Rio Ferdinand Count Fathom
The Life and Adventures of Sir Launcelot Jimmy Greaves
A Wingers Tale
~ v ~
Across the Pitch and Into the Goal
To Score and Score Not
Three Red Cards and Ten Yellows
For Whom The Ball Rolls
~ vi ~
Parkhead Revisited
Nicky Chatterton’s Lover
The Mart PoomsDay Book
Lady Julian Gray
A Joe Royal Duty
The Alan Rough Guide to Britain
The Old-Ham and the Sea
To Kill a Henning Berg
Murder on the Leyton Orient Express
~ vii ~
The Catcher in the Ryman
Hamann For All Seasons
The Goalie Bible
The Wind in the Minnows
Pride Park and Prejudice
The Hitchiker’s Guide to Galatasaray
Vinnie the Pooh
Great Expectorations
War and Pearce
Gone With the Transfer Window
A Prayer for Owen Hargreaves
Joey Jones’s Diary
Molby Dick
Tord of the Rings
The Hodfather
Captain Corelli Heads It In
3 Lions, the Pitch and the Scored Goal
The Grapes of Raith
Ranger in a Strange Land
Ranger in Paradise
The Snows of Klinsmann’s Giro
Remembrance of Things Passed
Finnan’s Wake
Huckleberry Finnan
Heart of Harkness
Houllier’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
To Kick a Mockingbird
The Ruud Less Travelled
Palace’s Adventures in Blunderland
Dion Dubliners
Portrait of the Artist as a Young Fan
Uselessyes
Mein Bergkampf
One Flew Over The Cuckoos Net
Bonhof of the Vanities
Match 22
A Brief History of Half Time
Port Vale’s Complaint
A Confederacy of Inces
Anel Karenina
If On A Winger’s Night, A Traveller
20,000 Leagues Under Chelsea
The Taking of Beckham 1-2-3
Under Milk Cup
A Mols House
A Lyon in Winter
One Hundred Years of Sols attitude
The World According to Garth
The Hartson is a Lonely Hunter
The Klinsmann Always Dives Twice
Note :
Some gems there I’m sure you’ll agree!
Obviously, based on the hot topic of autumn / winter 2003, the BBC Big Read project, with our own punderful slant.
We will consider this a work in progress, if anybody would like to contribute any other suggestions, please send to (in the absence of the guestbook) :
bigcheese@clikthemouse.com
The contributors so far :
~ i ~ Clik the mouse
~ ii ~ anon
~ iii ~ Peter Goulding
~ iv ~ Sharon Marshall
~ v ~ Michael ‘Sooner Gooner’ Adubato,
in praise of his favourite author, Ernest ‘Papa’ Hemingway
~ vi ~ John J O’Connor
~ vii ~ Eddie Gibbons
And my personal favourite? Eddie’s
Great Expectorations.
Very clever, and I’m ashamed to say it took me a while to work it out!
About This Site
Welcome to Football Poets -- a club for all football poets, lovers of football and lovers of (alternative) poetry. Discover poets in every league from respected internationals at the top of their game to young hopefuls in the school playground.
Publish your football poems here and then discuss them with your team mates and fans. We're archived by The British Library, so your masterpieces are in the safe hands of a world-class keeper. What a result!
My Account
Latest Poems
joe morris
3rd September 2024
Denys E. W. Jones
3rd September 2024
joe morris
26th August 2024
Crispin Thomas
26th August 2024
joe morris
22nd August 2024
Mike Bartram
20th August 2024
Phil Brennan
20th August 2024
joe morris
17th August 2024
Rowan Waller
17th August 2024
Alex Saynor
12th August 2024
Crispin’s Corner
In Memoriam
Kick It Out & Christmas Truce
Latest Comments
26th July 2024 at 6:25 pm
Great poem Mike Bartram. Eddie was a legend, affectionately known in Liverpool as, “the first hooligan.” Even the hoolies were well dressed in those days. The amazing thing was he was only 26 when that picture was taken. He’d played for Everton youth team and was well known to the players. He never got arrested. They threw him out and he climbed back in, just in time for Derek Temples winner.
I used the picture of him being tackled to the ground on the front cover of my book, “Once Upon a rhyme in Football.” It’s worth looking on youtube and finding the re-enactment of the Wembley scene. Frank Skinner and Baddiel went around to Eddies home in the 1990’s and acted it out on the green outside. It’s hilarious, especially all the effort they put in to get Eddie sober enough to shoot the scene.
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10th July 2024 at 6:07 pm
Hi Crispin,
I don’t know if you’ve see the picture in social media today…
a picture of a teenage Lionel Messi cradling a baby in Africa as part of a photoshoot…. the family had won a lottery to have their baby pictured with him….
the photographer has just revealed that the baby is actually in fact Lamine Yamal!!!!
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26th May 2024 at 2:30 pm
Hi Denys…
Re Man City:
OK it was 20 years ago but Criag Wilson did write this and a few others on them back in 04/05.
BTW I’m more Forest Green Rover since 2014 (and Chelsea) these days . I drum and am a standing season ticket holder .
Best
Crispin
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29th April 2024 at 2:47 pm
Hi Denys,
Yes Richard Williams you’re a brilliant wordsmith, my friend. When I first saw your football poetry I thought it was the superb Guardian sports and music writer. I once had the honour of sitting next to Richard Williams while at the Independent on the sports desk. He writes about music and sport with immense knowledge and authority. I’ve read a couple of Richard’s books recently. Great writer rather like you Richard Williams the Pompey fan. Congratulations on promotion.
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28th April 2024 at 5:59 pm
Thanks Denys. Yes your replay poem was superb.
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26th April 2024 at 4:46 pm
Nice work, Joe. You were quick off the mark with that! Good one from Richard Williams too I see.
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25th April 2024 at 7:33 pm
Hi Denys,
Thanks mate. I’ll do it now.
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25th April 2024 at 1:56 pm
Thanks Joe,
you might like to write a poem yourself on the same subject…
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23rd April 2024 at 4:03 pm
Hi Denys
With you all the way on the abolition of FA Cup replays. What are they doing to the game?
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23rd April 2024 at 3:59 pm
Hi Crispin,
Yes sorry mate. Villa are still in Europe. Mistake rectified.
Cheers
Joe
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