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Chief Inspector Mulligan Flies To London

Peter Goulding

Monday, August 11th, 2003

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Chief Inspector Mulligan
Was phoned by Scotland Yard
To help them with a case that they
Were finding pretty hard.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 He packed his suitcase, changed his socks
And shaved his three day stubble,
And then he flew to Heathrow to
Assist them in their trouble.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 They met him at the airport,
Sergeant Carson, Sergeant Fee,
He knew that they were C.I.D.-
They let him see I.D.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 They gave him steak and kidney at
A nearby London pub,
And then they brought him in a car
To Arsenal Football Club.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 One stand was blackened, noted
The inspector with a frown.
It looked as though some criminal
Had tried to burn it down.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 The witnesses were all lined up,
The backroom staff and players,
And the little old tea-lady who
Was known as Mrs. Sayers.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 Chief Inspector Mulligan
Then interviewed them all,
Although in truth, he much preferred
To watch the oval ball.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 He interviewed Sol Campbell,
And he looked him in the eye,
And then he tackled Bergkamp cos
He said he had to fly.

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 He interviewed Vieira and
He booked him for the mess,
And then did Arsene Wenger who
Appeared in some distress.

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 The Chief Inspector glanced down at
Some marks on Wenger’s foot,
He made a note that they appeared
Suspiciously like soot.

11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 Casually he pulled a fag and
Asked him for a match,
The manager did not suspect
That there might be a catch.

12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 When the interviews were done
The Inspector sat there, thinking.
Piecing all the bits together,
Motionless, unblinking.

13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 “This fire was not an accident,”
He said to Sergeant Carson.
“Now, don’t be shocked by this, but I
Suspect that it was Arsene.”

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/chief-inspector-mulligan-flies-to-london/