Football Poets

Early excitement
Small squad proves predictable
‘Beamish Line’ beckons

At Selhurst Park they sent Dom off,
Though it was ne’er a foul.
They’re threat’ning yet more points to dock,
They kick us when we’re down.

But we are made of steely stuff,
We’ve got hairs on our […]

A.I. is a saviour and the new soccer sleuth,
here to solve online searches for footballing truth.

So, is the Golden Boot made of real gold?
Can a 47-year-old be trusted to play well in goal?

Did Hungary […]

So what’s next on the itinerary
For the Premier League
Yes of course
A welcome break
Besides Saudi deserts
Or Manchester City’s
Oil fields of
Superabundant cash
Millions of lifestyles
Bathed in the […]

You must have heard the rumour
It’s out there in the public domain
Everybody’s talking about it
It’ll dominate the back pages
For one sumptuous weekend
In football’s golden carriage
It’s FA Cup third round […]

Too good to go down,
too bad to stay up, and
mid table mediocrity,
isn’t for the likes of us.

Lost the dressing room,
thrown away the plot,
our misfiring forwards,
cock up (almost) every s […]

Mr Wordsworth walks to Bolton
He wandered lonely as a cloud
At evening in the encroaching dark
When all at once he saw a crowd
A floodlit game at Burnden Park!
“Dine at the Packhorse” along the roof
The dri […]

On this island, is it Saints or Pompey,
what do you say? Don’t ask me, my friend;
I’m a Bournemouth fan from Alum Bay.

When you look north, from Cowes,
or east, from Ryde, I’m around the headland
at Chilt […]

It’s the ultimate tartan derby
This lunchtime
Celtic against Rangers
It goes as far back
As the beginning of time
Or seemingly so
The Auld Firm derby
But not quite
Auld Lang Syne
That’s for another […]

Oh! That groan and satisfying clunk of the turnstile;
milling crowds of folk wrapped up in scarves and beanie hats,
catching up on this and that as if it’s been a while,
although, of course, it’s only been a f […]

It was 60 years ago today
Sergeant Peppers was hardly
A child of nature
Let me introduce to you
The one and only
West Ham United
Boxing Day bonkers
The heaviest battering
Of modern times
Confidence shot […]

And so we think back wistfully
To those nostalgia laced days
When football used to be played
On Christmas Day
It was you know
Now how did that one work?
When turkeys languished in
Ovens ready to be […]

one Christmas in the trenches
they stood in mud and sand
their loved ones and their football
a distant far off land –
the snow lay thick as thick could be
a bitter chill did spread
behind the sand bags and t […]