Football Poets

the Tinkerman fiddled
while Roman burned
Ranieiri riddled
Abramovich yearned

Kenyon’s condemnation
meant money mattered
cue Claudio’s compensation :
Mourinho must be flattered

The crowd let it be known
That Roy was welcome home
Chanting out his name
At intervals throughout the game

But only one Keano?
Both he and Robbie should’ve scored
Oh, how the crowd would’ve roared

Instead, it […]

Watching Andy Reid play
is like watching John Robertson, re-incarnated

A shimmy of full, wholesome hips
but with a barrelful of ribs, over-marinated!

I’ve followed Chelsea
And Brentford
And Hampton

I’ve crossed the Irish sea
Forded the Thames
Swum with the plankton

I’ve driven in a hurry
Parked in a panic
Returned to wheels clamped on

I’ve stood on half […]

But done it was
Without any from Oz
Not a single defeat
They drew or beat …
Everyone
With style and fun
And charming grace
Plus guile and pace
They bettered the lot
Won the pot
With points to spare …
We could […]

Even at half time
Having just conceded a disastrous away goal …
Liam Brady gave us a sporting chance –
But the rest of the panel
Were none too impressed
With Chelsea’s squandering advance

In particular, they […]

An own goal ventured, is nothing gained
But to the miscreant, an expression pained
Cut to the bench, and what do we see
Distress in abundance, not an hint of glee
Ever the pragmatist, coach encourages and […]

the rather large lady
creating areas shady
puffed out her chest with pride

but she had rather more sense
than to burst into song
certainly not, amidst this unruly throng

instead, she left it to 11 fully grown […]

The trees brimmed with confidence
as the man with the axe, approached

‘Twas Brian Clough got the chop

The trees swayed with delight
as the man with the axe, took centre stage

Ash had them rocking in the […]

You must remember this
A miss is still a miss
Sky high is just too high
The full time whistle is nigh
As time flies by

And when two rivals joust
They’ll not be quoting Proust
On that you can rely
No matter what […]

Champions League, Quarter Final victory

~ 1 ~

How the mighty are fallen
When the Chelsea Blue boys come-a-callin’
Now it’s no longer the Gunners on the glory trail
But Claudio’s happy, happy men, hunting the […]

You feel like Gordon McQueen
When you’re driving in your car
And you think you look like Ken Bond
When you’re smoking your cigar
It’s so bizarre
You think you are
The new kind of Dixie Dean
But the only thing, […]

Oh, we wish that they were leaving
We wish they’d bl**dy go
We could give ‘em lots of reasons
But they just don’t want to know
‘Cos for too many years
We’ve been living next door to Gwladys!
(“where the heck is Gw […]

When I find myself in times of trouble
Then Bob Paisley comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom Kenny D
And in my hour of darkness
He is playing right in front of me
Spreading balls with wisdom Kenny D
Kenny D Kenny […]

Nobody does it better
Makes me feel sad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as you
Stevie you’re the best
Kop Idol Hero pulls on the red shirt
Racing like the sun across his sky
At home here in […]

Thank you very much for Shankly Paisley Dalglish Keegan
Barnsie Aldo Joey Rush
Thank you very very very much!

Thank you very much for the Spion Kop, the Anfield Road
The Kemlyn Stand, the old boys pen
Thank you […]

There’s many a line been lost
in the confines of my sleep
there’s many a stanza tossed
in the twilight afore the deep

Many a goal was scored
with defences half asleep
but nuggets never reach the hoard
as the […]

My beloved want nothing to do with The Sun ;
The quarrel is far more remembered, than the kit is red :
If results are all, then the season is dun ;
If wins bring points, then all hopes are dead.
I have seen […]

Zola’s yardstick :
xiphoid wriggles valuably
under tortured shot-stopper –
reasonably quite prickly over
non manageable limbs.
Kindred jocularity inhabits hardened grateful fans.
Eventually, destiny :
Chelsea beat Arsenal

Chelsea A to Z (a)

At best,
Chelsea draw enormous fan gates,
having initially jettisoned known looters,
mancs, numanoids, oiks, paranormal,
quintessientially rural suffragettes targetting unlikely vermin, […]