Football Poets

Who wants to lead the Tour de France
Or Fifteen Hundred Metres?
Who wants to head the Marathon,
And seem like a world-beater?

How ’bout top spot in Premiership,
In Serie A or B?
I tell you, in the […]

“They call us Cinderella,
Cos we’re in Serie B.
But I say the Ferraris
Is the only place to be.

We’re playing Cittadella,
No pushovers are they.
So get down to Marassi
At 3pm today.

We’ve S […]

session_start()

At the wrong end of the Table,
Cos to win we are not able,
But we’re too good to go down.

Here we sit acrest a slump,
Yet we’re not down in the dumps.
No way, not on your Nelly, […]

session_start()

The Lionesses proved they are the Best.
Much better than the men are they by far.
Now here’s a thought that’s come into my head:
Could we not send these Lasses to Qatar? […]

Cazoo and the Toffees agreed to part.
“Great!” I thought, “We can make a fresh start.”
But this new Sponsor deal
Is a Stake through my heart.

Some talk of Peter Shilton,
And some of Gordon Banks.
Ray Clemence and Bonetti,
And others in their ranks.

But of all the world’s great Keepers,
There’s none that can compete
With the Big Fella from […]

End of a stress-laden Season.
Vital points needed for safety secured.
Each to his own –
Relegation for some, but no Drop for us.
Too good, too big, too great to go down.
Onwards and upwards.
Nil Satis Nisi […]

Farewell Inter, Milan, Juve,
Farewell Roma, Lazio too.
Farewell Spezia, Fiorentina,
Fair Verona’s Gialloblu.

Bye Bologna, Atalanta,
Udinese, Empoli.
Ciao Torino, and Sassuolo,
Sayonara Napoli.

Lastly […]

We’re not very consistent,
We win, we lose, we draw.
The only thing that’s certain is
We’re never true to form.

The other night at Turf Moor,
We somehow lost three-two.
Yet next home game at […]

We’re good at sacking gaffers,
We are not very nice.
Just ask Martinez, Silva,
Ron Koeman, Allardyce.

And then there’s that Benitez,
The latest casualtee.
But he was just one big mistake,
For him no tears […]

The BBC hoped for an upset,
They showed the match live on TV.
But when Kevin Friend blew for full-time,
The losers were HCFC.

The Tigers they sure made a bright start,
They scored after forty-five […]

When we were losing one-nil,
I thought our Cause was lost.
The trapdoor was wide open,
We seemed doomed to the Drop.

When we were trailing one-nil,
I heard a wise man say:
“My son, you know you r […]

We last clashed ten long months ago,
On Liverpool’s own turf.
And on that day, the whole world knows,
We Toffees proved our worth.

Two goals scored by the Boys in Blue,
While from the Reds not one. […]

We all thought he was potty
When he came to Everton.
Now Carlo Ancelotti
Has gone and done a bunk.

He’s upped and left for Real Madrid,
World-famous Club, so very big.
Much greater than our Everton,
Who […]

We hadn’t won at Anfield
Since nineteen ninety-nine.
And slice it how you like,
That is a very long long time.

But now at last we’ve done it,
The monkey’s off our back.
The hoodoo has been laid to […]

Scored after five minutes.
Defending since then.
Star striker got sent off.
We’re down to ten men.
Eighty-eight minutes gone.
Two minutes to go.
But them hundred-twenty seconds,
Man, don’t they go […]

You can sell Tosun, Iwobi, Sigurdsson,
They’re not fundamental to our plans.
And Pickford can depart,
It wouldn’t break our hearts,
He drops too many clangers,
He just doesn’t look the part.

But […]

He was banging ’em in for his Club,
Then came his Country calling.
Dom pulled on the White Shirt,
And guess what – he kept up the scoring!

Some say it was only a Friendly,
But I say a goal is a g […]

The autumn is a gloomy time,
The leaves fall from the trees.
Hard rains pour down, wild west winds blow,
And other things like these.

But we’re not feeling sad just now,
Our mood is quite […]

Who are you, Cazoo?
What do you make or do?
Concoct some alcoholic brew?
Or manufacture paint or glue?
This is what I wished I knew,
When first I heard the name Cazoo,
Because I did not have a clue. […]