• Who Are Ya?
    I’m at a Czech non-league game It cost just over a pound Despite the fact it’s so cheap There’s dozens outside the ground. Even more than stood on ‘Jews Hill’ Back at the old Millwall ‘Den’ Apologies for being un-P.C. It’s just a term we used back then. It’s a Tuesday Bank Holiday morning October […]
  • “Birthday Hop”
    I’ve arrived at the football For my birthday treat It might only be Czech Third Division But a Friday night game you can’t beat. Running far too early So nip into the bar Talk about a timewarp A nicotine fug of tar. Everyone poisoning me With their smelly smoke To think I only dived in […]
  • “Tea Break”
    You really couldn’t make it up A tea bar with no tea If it wasn’t such a shambles You’d think someone was taking the P! Football might have moved on No longer a bovril and a flat cap But not having a half-time cuppa: An embarrassment and total crap. Tea and coffee in the clubhouse […]
  • ‘Rainbow Laces’ Day
    Was you doing lip service Supporting ‘Rainbow Laces’ Day? How tolerant would you really be If footballers turned gay? The game turns a blind eye To managers and agents taking bungs Can you imagine the uproar Of centre-forwards doing tongues? It’s alright for you to go “Phwoar! That Physio she’s really fit” Or calling for […]
  • “Non League Day”
    Such a simple concept Inventing Non League Day I never realised how much Until Dulwich entered the fray. I could never have imagined Champion Hill packed to the hilt Biggest crowd we’ve ever seen Since the Stadium was built. If I’d have predicted capacity Three thousand in the place You’d accuse me of being on […]