Netherlands 2 Denmark 0 (Group E) Alas, poor Poulsen; I knew him Horatio – He’d strength and skill in equal ratio. A thousandfold, the crossed ball flew In front of goal with danger true And every time in his career, His sturdy skull would knock it clear. Save that one time in Soccer City In […]

Algeria 0 Slovenia 1 (Group C) Another catastrophic handling blunder, The speculative shot squeezed in the net And every other keeper starts to wonder. Chaouchi’s reputation’s torn asunder, As millions watched, from Togo to Tibet, Another catastrophic handling blunder. It left the poor Algerians quite stunned. A Mis-hit shot that seemed to pose no threat, […]

South Korea 2 Greece 0 (Group B) Koh Na-bol Lee Jung-soo Nok Ih-tin Fah Tuk-wik Pas An-run Grik Tu-slo Qi Pah-luk Sum Wat-doj Seh Kun-daf Park Ji-sung (Ji-sung Park?) In Ta-sept Bit Tu-men Tah Pi-tin Gri-Kas-lip Taeguk fah Gud Foh-grik Ih Zi-win. Argentina 1 Nigeria 0 (Group B) Surveying his rebel camp like a poncho-less […]

South Africa 1 Mexico 1 (Group A) The fans were blowing hard on odd-shaped cornets As the competition started without hitch. It sounded like a swarm of angry hornets Was buzzing round the Soccer City pitch. Like wasps descending on a picnic table, The Mexicans were out to spoil the show, Tormenting the Bafana, though […]

There’ll be bawling, caterwauling, When the striker is sent sprawling, Each tackle will be analysed to death. Much hair-tearing, constant swearing And ridiculous hat-wearing, More passion than the third act of Macbeth. There’ll be crying, rueful sighing, Fervent dreams of qualifying, Rhetoric a-plenty from the panellists. There’ll be drama, instant karma, Prayers to Allah and […]