When you lose in a Champions League Final, The Captain should take it with strength, Not blub like a leaky urinal And cry, cry and cry at great length. He should put a strong arm round your shoulder And help put defeat in perspective, Be steady and strong as a boulder And help to deflect […]

I’ve written a play with a very large cast – It’s about Man United; the backdrops are vast. I’m hoping to run it on London’s West End, Then maybe to Broadway for six months on end. I’ve sent a synopsis – a ten page prospectus – To several eminent theatre directors. Of course, the original’s […]

When Shels overreached And were brusquely impeached, The delight down in Cork was incredible. They greeted our troubles By ord’ring large doubles With a joy that was very near edible. So, I vowed there and then If there came a time when They had spent all the cash in their kitty, They would quite understand […]

If ever I was in the situation, There’s one thing that could never be denied. I’d gladly take the worldwide approbation If it meant that Ireland qualified. I’d fall down in the box like Michael Owen, Like Drogba and Ronaldo always do. I’d punch the ball like Maradonna, knowin’ It might well help my country […]

We knew it was over when FIFA declared The play offs were going to be seeded. No matter how well little Ireland had fared, ‘Twas the French that the World Cup brass needed. We knew all too well that they wanted the French And their audience of seventy millions. ‘Twas better by far if we […]