• For Stanley
    I’ve only just heard of you, Stanley, Or rather, Horace Albert, I presume. Yes, Stanley, christened Horace Albert, But changing his name for reasons unknown; Stanley Butler, my dad’s dead cousin, Who played with dolls at home Instead of trains and guns and soldiers, And wasn’t interested in kicking a ball Or fighting hard in […]
  • Why a Christmas Tree is just like a Footballer
    First of all, they feed you with unnatural chemicals, So that you experience a massive precocious growth, And then when you are too big for your roots You get put in the shop window, And sold off in the market place. It’s then that you get your dreams of stardom, Of a life and career […]
  • Come Back Dad
    Come Back Dad And hide “British History For Boys” Underneath my pillow while I’m asleep, As a surprise coming home present. Come Back Dad And bring home Mars Bars and eucalyptus sweets On Thursday pay nights For our weekly treat. Come Back Dad And tap the beer barrel At 5a.m. on Christmas Day morning, Exclaiming […]
  • Dearest Bank Manager
    Dearest Bank Manager, I am writing to thank you for bouncing the cheque which I had assumed would pay Father Christmas for his many services recently rendered to my family. By my calculations, some three nano-seconds must have elapsed between his presenting the cheque and the arrival of the funds in my account needed to […]
  • Painswick War Memorial
    On the day they buried Tommy Lawton I was on a bus opposite Painswick Church, On a cold and dull November morning, And as I stared out of the window, The sun rose up from behind the hills And lightened the leaden grey sky With fingers of silver. The village church stood strong in winter […]