A Thousand Misses Deep
¶ 1
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We bought you in the Window
and we got you on the cheap,
just after we let Luis go
(grown men were seen to weep).
¶ 2
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You’re not his twin, or next of kin,
(was Brendan half asleep?)
and who but him would take you in
a thousand misses deep?
¶ 3
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We loved you for your opener
in Ludogorets defeat,
all thinking that the floodgate
locks were soon to be released.
¶ 4
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But ours is unrequited love;
a flame that gives no heat.
All joy expunged, our hopes have plunged
a thousand misses deep.
¶ 5
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Another European night,
defenders all at sea;
there was no Real glory left
against their 4-3-3.
¶ 6
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When we had gone 4-3-2-1
the ball was at your feet
yet you contrived to hit it wide
a thousand misses deep.
¶ 7
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Sometimes a player lies to refs,
sometimes a player cheats,
but every fan will tell you there’s
no virtue in deceit.
¶ 8
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A lack of pace, a lack of grace
will make you obsolete.
And that’s the crime they’ll hang you for
a thousand misses deep.
¶ 9
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We thought we’d bought a famous name
whose price was not too steep.
But all your well-known faults remain
a thousand misses deep.
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