Albert Crustyloaf’s Lament

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Albert Crustyloaf’s Lament

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 We went to Ewood t’other night, me brother Stan and me
We were playing a team called Stockport, a certain Rovers victory
We got t’ground, had tripe and peas, and a couple ‘o’ pints of beer
We talked about the next Cup round, and of winning it this year.
“They’re only a second division team” one ferret breeder said
“We’ve been Premier champions, we should beat ‘em standing on us head”
“I remember when they were in the Fourth, and beat us three one at home” said one old whippet trainer, who was sitting all alone
“Aye but that were long ago, and we’re a big club now”
“We’ve a team of internationals, that will really show ‘em how”

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Any road up, when game had started, things just didn’t go as planned
There’s never been such noise before, in the away supporters stand
Out on the pitch the Rover’s boys were beaten out of sight
They were second in every tackle, had no bottle for the fight
Make no mistake, Stockport deserved to win, of that you can be sure
They left with a one nil victory, but it could have been three or four
But Stockport knocking us out of t’cup is not my biggest fear
It’s meeting them again, in Division One, next year


This poem was written during Stockport County’s run to the semi-final of the Coca-Cola Cup in 9697. We had just beaten recent Premier Champions Blackburn at Ewood, and I worked with a lad from Blackburn who had a ‘real’ Lancashire accent and we had christened him Albert Crustyloaf. Stockport won promotion to the First Division at the end of the campaign and Blackburn were relegated from the Premier so we did meet again the next season.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/albert-crustyloafs-lament/