I am a Tyneside pub league referee
I believe in grass roots football
So off I go each Sunday morning
With my kit packed in my hold-all.
My mates all think I’m crackers
The wife swears I’ve lost my senses
But at least I get my beer money
A tenner plus expenses.
I never have any assistants
No one fancies running the line
We play in some terrible conditions
Like the snow and the fog on the Tyne.
I got a bit of grief today
Off the lads from ‘The pig and Whistle’
Five of them recieved red cards
After a brawl with the ‘Rose and Thistle’.
So as I sit this Sunday night
Writing out my report
My nose is encased in plaster
And It’s all for the love of my sport.
But It’s the league presentation on Friday night
When the officials put on a nice spread
They wanted to invite Alan Shearer
But settled for Alan Minter instead.