Football Poets

Boro v Portsmouth (15-10-2005)

¶ 1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Pompey set for the Boro a truly massive riddle,
By starting off with six men, strung across the middle,
But we surely have the players, who can quickly call their bluff?
And we’re looking for Yakubu now to shine and do his stuff.

¶ 2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 The Boro’s team selection has fans totally bemused,
“Square pegs in round holes,” was the phrase so often used,
No acknowledged wide man was today on view,
And, when the line-up was announced, frustration grew.

¶ 3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 A ball in from George Boateng was an absolute peach,
But the unfortunate Yakubu, sadly, couldn’t reach,
It so slightly brushed his hair and the chance then went a’ begging,
To leave this poor encounter with the teams level pegging.

¶ 4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 The new-born Maccarone, who’s now showing much more steel,
And, since coming back from Italy enjoys greater appeal,
Rochemback’s ball found him and was nearly so dramatic,
Though the chance was missed, the overhead kick was really acrobatic.

¶ 5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Parnaby sought to exploit space, found way out on the right,
Then he picked out Yakubu, but then things were just too tight,
But Rochemback arrived and gave it one almighty hoof,
And, incredibly, this ‘attempt on goal,’ almost cleared the roof.

¶ 6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 In like a flash came big Yak, on to a lucky ricochet,
And a goal against his former club would surely make his day,
They were certainly unsettled but their ‘keeper was so brave,
And Yakubu was then thwarted as James Ashdown made the save.

¶ 7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 Pompey still leave lots of space, despite five across the back,
And that space looks so inviting for Maccarone and big Yak,
But we need to take more care when we’re in the final third,
And, already, some disgruntled fans now give their team the bird.

¶ 8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 Things open up for Robert, who homes in on goal and shoots,
Then it’s instantly suggested that he’s wearing Rochemback’s boots,
He’s scored some quite tremendous goals: many still to treasure,
But, brilliant though he oft can be, he frustrates in equal measure.

¶ 9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 Rochemback’s lovely little ball found Boateng in a gap,
He picked out Maccarone, who then also won his scrap,
It ricocheted to Yakubu and an open goal then beckoned,
But the shot was blocked by Brian Priske at the very final second.

¶ 10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 The look on Steve McClaren’s face is definitely stony,
Yakubu didn’t react at all to a ball from Maccarone,
His speedy feet whipped in a ball with Boro fans’ breath all bated,
Yakubu’s failure to anticipate left fans once more frustrated.

¶ 11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 With every Pompey man defending, Doriva stretched things wide to Macca,
His first time volley, across the box, was certainly a cracker,
A hell of a ball found Rochemback but he was standing half asleep,
So totally flat-footed and also playing far too deep.

¶ 12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 With the blue shirts streaming forward, it is clear that danger’s looming,
Steve McClaren tears his hair out and he’s absolutely fuming,
Andy Griffin found it simple, the Boro’s defence to breach,
He then looked for Dario Silva who didn’t bust a gut to reach.

¶ 13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 Boro fans suddenly hold their breath but Silva missed a sitter,
And Schwarzer, out in no-man’s land, stifled a little titter,
A simple tap-in was required and should have certainly been buried,
But Silva wasn’t tuned in and he wasn’t to be hurried.

¶ 14 Leave a comment on verse 14 0 Time’s drawing ever closer for this half to be assessed,
And it’s sure that both the managers have been totally unimpressed,
For a fly on the dressing room walls: what a brilliant place to be!
But one thing’s sure, if we don’t buck up; it might well be R.I.P.

¶ 15 Leave a comment on verse 15 0 Thankfully just one minute’s added, as far as one remembers,
And Robert’s corner’s volleyed clear in the half’s last dying embers,
Then the boos all told the story of a performance so disjointed,
And fans went to drown their sorrows, feeling bitterly disappointed.

¶ 16 Leave a comment on verse 16 0 ———-

¶ 17 Leave a comment on verse 17 0 The Boro now restart after a ‘gentle’ talking to,
And Mendieta’s on: he takes the place of Franck Queudrue,
Pompey made two changes then, from an angle most acute,
O’Neil found Boro’s net: their changes instantly bore fruit.

¶ 18 Leave a comment on verse 18 0 Then came a rare old scramble as the Boro sought to press,
But how we get back in this game is anybody’s guess,
Maccarone’s trying so hard as he seeks to make amends,
And the gloom gets ever-greater as the autumn mist descends.

¶ 19 Leave a comment on verse 19 0 I see Viduka on the touchline, warming up with Jimmy Floyd,
I wonder who we’ll soon see looking less than overjoyed?
But wait: the Boro have a corner and Rochemback is in there swift,
And the powerful Yakubu gives the Boro a massive lift.

¶ 20 Leave a comment on verse 20 0 Then manager Steve McClaren makes a big and brave decision,
But by subbing Maccarone he can feel the fans’ derision,
Obviously Steve would say he had to take this countermeasure,
But the fans were not convinced and they soon showed their huge displeasure.

¶ 21 Leave a comment on verse 21 0 Viduka’s stunning shot, after JFH had carried it,
Certainly did look goalwards bound but the ‘keeper somehow parried it,
It was a great ball into the box but Boro fans’ hopes soon dropped,
For the ball’s initially fumbled, almost lost but somehow stopped.

¶ 22 Leave a comment on verse 22 0 The fans were on their feet about to celebrate a goal,
Great ball from Mendi, in to Yak, who instantly took control,
It was a golden opportunity with the ‘keeper totally stranded,
And Yak missed by quite some distance: it was awful: to be candid.

¶ 23 Leave a comment on verse 23 0 Soon the pain was ended and it’s not been very bonnie,
And yet again we’ve seen two points go sailing down the Swanee,
The fans are totally gutted as their homeward way they wend,
And the bewildering team selection almost drives them ‘round the bend.

¶ 24 Leave a comment on verse 24 0 They’ve four full days to clear their heads, but I’ll not be betting coppers,
That things will be much better when they challenge the Grasshoppers,
With six more games in twenty days, and Christmas coming quickly,
They must improve – and with great haste – or things might look real sickly.