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chipper Chelsea

Pen Baits

Tuesday, August 3rd, 2004

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Clean yer ears, mate
there’s never been a Fish at Chelsea
Mark, over at the Valley, it’s true
but never a scaly customer, in Royal Blue

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 and there ain’t no tench
ready to come off the bench

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 filling the Bridge, we’ve had :

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 fans, but no fins (excluding Mikael)
‘The Cat’, but no catfish
a ‘Birch’ and a ‘Lurch’, but no perch
a de Goey, but no koi
a Borota, but no barracuda
a Lee, but no eel
a Droy, but no dory
a Marvin, but no marlin
a McCreadie, but no mackerel
a Dorigo, but no dogfish
a Mulligan, but no mullet
(although, there’s been a few dodgy ones over the years!)

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 We have (and had), a Rocastle, but no roe
a Dalla Bona, but no dab
a Flo, but no flounder
a Monkou, but no monkfish
a Sparrow, but no parrotfish
a Peacock, but no pollock
a Pates, but no skate
a Clarke, but no carp
a Cundy, but no cunner
a Coady, but no goby
a Hay, but no hake
a Bason, but no bass
a Gallas, but no wrasse
a ‘Lamps’, but no lamprey
a ‘Duffer’, but no pufferfish
a Gronkjaer, but no grouper
a Garland, but no grayling
a Jasper, but no snapper
a Smertin, but no smelt
a Mutu, but no manta
a ‘Hod’, but no cod
a Cole, but no sole
a Fillery, but no fillet

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 We’ve had a ‘Ships’, but no chips
Assault – and Vinnie Jones, but no vinegar
And last but not feast
The sauciest pun of the lot :
We’ve had a Kirkup, but no ketchup!

© Pen Baits, August 2004

Notes

Amazing what a one track mind and a mis-heard lyric can set in motion!
Triggered by the song by Mike Skinner, aka ‘The Streets’, that goes :
“Dry yer eyes, mate
There’s plenty more fish in the sea”

Dedicated to my friend Neil, the keenest fisherman I know and fellow Blue.
Also dedicated to the memory of his dad Bob, who used to bring us to the Bridge.

The players, in order of appearance (as at Feb 2005) :

Mark Fish (Charlton Athletic, present)
Mikael Forssell (2000 – present)
Peter ‘The Cat’ Bonetti (1959 – 1979)
Alan Birchenall (1967 – 1970)
David ‘Lurch’ Beasant (1989 – 1993)
Ed de Goey (1997 – 2003)
Petar Borota (1979 – 1982)
David Lee (1988 – 1998) / Colin Lee (1980 – 1987)
Micky Droy (1970 – 1985)
Marvin Hinton (1963 – 1975)
Eddie McCreadie (1962 – 1973)
Tony Dorigo (1987 – 1991)
Paddy Mulligan (1969 – 1973)
Craig Rocastle ( – 2005); cousin to –
David Rocastle, RIP (1994 – 1998)
Sam Dalla Bona (2000 – 2002)
Tor Andre Flo (1998 – 2001)
Ken Monkou (1989 – 1992)
John Sparrow (1973 – 1980)
Gavin Peacock (1993 – 1996)
Colin Pates ( – )
Steve Clarke (1987 – 1998) & (2004 – presently assistant manager)
Jason Cundy (1990 – 1992)
John Coady (1986 – 1988)
David Hay (1974 – 1978)
Brian Bason (1972 – 1976)
William Gallas (2001 – present)
Frank Lampard (2001 – present)
Damian Duff (2003 – present)
Jesper Gronkjaer (2000 – 2004)
Chris Garland (1971 – 1975)
Dale Jasper (1984 – 1986)
Alexei Smertin (2003 – present)
Adrian Mutu (2003 – 2004)
Glenn Hoddle (1993 – 1996)
Joe Cole (2003 – present) / Carlton Cole (2000 – presently, on loan to Aston Villa)
Mike Fillery (1979 – 1983)
Neil Shipperley (1993 – 1995)
Vinnie Jones (1991 – 1992)
Joe Kirkup (1966 – ?) – the only one before my time!

I was tempted to add

a Weller, R.I.P. (in tights), but no whales

but then of course, whales aren’t fishes

This was probably influenced too,
from reading too much JJ O’Connor!

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/chipper-chelsea/