Leave a comment on verse 1 0
In a skewed version of Murphy’s law
returning striker will always score.
With the announcement of striker’s name
over tannoy before the game
an audible sigh, sharp intake of breath,
knowing that the name spells death.
Raised eyebrows and shrugs of resignation follow
as home supporteres gulp and swallow,
knowing that last season’s scapegoat
is bound to score and I quote:
“he played for us on loan last year,
looked like he’d been on the beer,
If he scores he’ll ruin dinner;
I’ll bet he’ll score the flippin’ winner.”
Leave a comment on verse 2 0
After ninety minutes of huff and puff,
proving neither team is good enough
and score tied at no goals each
our friend scores a perfect peach.
With back to goal, a scissor kick
is going wide, then seems to flick
the bulging tyre of striker’s waist.
Then home custodian in his haste
allows the ball to trundle tiredly
(away fans celebrating wildly)
into back of home side’s net;
has to be the worst feeling yet.