Demanding
¶ 1
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Your missus expects you to show you care
But don’t buy her racy underwear
That’s just a present to please you
Only pricey ‘must-haves-sold-out’ will do
¶ 2
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Your mates descend because you live near
The pub which also supplies your beer
They leave the ashtray full of butts
And carpet crunchy with shelled nuts
¶ 3
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Elderly relatives want you to hear
Familiar tales of times now rare
They like the same stories every December
But need you to tell them ‘cos they don’t remember
¶ 4
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The kids demand full festive fayre
One Wii each, they just can’t share
Every gift comes with a battery charger
Just like the kids, the bills get larger
¶ 5
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The neighbours think that you should wear
Novelty socks – they bought you a pair
They tell you what a nice chap you are
Before admitting they scratched your car
¶ 6
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Your football team make no fuss
It’s Christmas but they’re on the bus
Preparing to play home or away
To provide you with comfort on Boxing Day
¶ 7
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They know you feel the worse for wear
– All they ask is that you are there
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