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Haggistoun 20 Sporranfield United 0.

HUGH MORRIS

Saturday, January 3rd, 2004

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 A bonnie lass in Haggistoun,
Named Pamela McLeod,
Is popular wi’ all th’ lads,
‘Cause she’s so well endow’d,
Pam’s a lovely lookin’ girl
An’ on foo’ball she’s mad keen,
Th’ only lassie t’ have played
Wi’ th’ local team…

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Haggistoun were one man short
In th’ firs’ roond o’ th’ cup,
Th’ manager wore a worri’d froon
‘Til Pamela fronted up,
There an’ then he sign’d her on
T’ augment th’ forward line,
Sayin’, “Jus’ distrac’ th’ ‘keeper,
Now ge’ changed, it’s kick off time…”

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Soon our midfield’r won th’ ball
An’ gave a hefty boot,
It swung across th’ goalmouth
Where Pam stuck oo’ her foot,
Th’ ball d’flected ‘gainst th’ post
An’ boonced into th’ net,
Then I saw th’ wildest scene
I’ve ever witness’d yet…

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Th’ whole gran’stan’ erupted
Into a thund’rous roar,
‘Cause nobody expected
That Pamela wou’d score,
An’ th’ roar grew louder
Into a deaf’nin’ soond,
When she pull’d her shirt o’er her head
An’ ran aroon’ th’ groond…

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Pam scor’d twenty goals tha’ day,
Because both teams conspired
T’ put th’ ball a’ her feet,
So she cou’d do wha’ was required,
Even th’ ref was in on it,
Th’ dirty little swine,
Though we were winnin’ 14 – 0,
He still played extra time….

© Llew Beaton 3 January 2004.

Notes

Any resemblance between this Pamela McLeod and any other Pamela McLeod (especially from Haggistoun) is entirely coincidental and no correspondence will be entered into. (Please state endowments, as exceptions may be made.)

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/haggistoun-20-sporranfield-united-0/