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Hoist

Peter Goulding

Friday, September 12th, 2003

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 The Allied Irish Bank was playing the New Bank of Sri Lanka.
The Irish lads were favourites. [In fact it was a banker]
And yes, the Irish won, which barely merited attention,
But there was one small incident that’s maybe worth a mention.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 A Sri Lankan forward took a shot, which quickly goalwards sped.
It struck Joe Murphy’s arm and so the ref gave him a red.
Fair enough, I hear you say, that’s perfectly correct,
Suffice to say, it’s hardly in the league of Berthold Brecht.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 But three weeks later, there convened the discipline committee,
A ruthless bunch who weren’t inclined to show a lot of pity.
The Chairman of the Board, in fact, had just got his bank statement-
His charges had been going up and up without abatement.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 And thus ‘twas in foul humour, they reviewed the said handball,
And fined poor Joseph Murphy thirty thousand pounds in all.
So Joe complained and said he thought the fine was rather large.
“Oh no,” replied the Chairman. “That’s our normal handling charge.”

© Peter Goulding 12th September 2003

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/hoist/