‘Leave It Out Touts About!

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 i’m just a tout a ticket-tout – they know me
but keep it quiet mate – please don’t shout it out
I’ve done some deals and had some laughs I grant you
it ain’t a job I’m all that proud about

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 but E-Bay’s changed the picture somethin’ rotten
it’s like a flipping nightmare on the beat
there’s amateurs all cleaning up in armchairs
there’s CCTV cameras on the street

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 it’s always been a mugs game but I’m special
I’m offering this service to the fan
an’ if they can’t be bothered to put put the hard work in
a twenty-five quid ticket costs a grand

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 they make me laugh some ‘wavers’ * when they see me
they think they’re gonna clean up on the day
but I soon put ’em straight when they come over
“you’ll battle mate to give them two away!”

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 ‘cos I don’t stop at Wembley or the Final
done Stamford Bridge and Ascot – Henley too
the Lion King’s an ‘iffy’ but we get there in the end
I sometimes has ta pull a string or two

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 I met this ‘ toff’ ** at Wimbledon I had an ‘oddie’** spare
he wanted one but sitting by The Queen
I says if you ain’t got no ten grand handy
then you ain’t posh you’re livin’ in some dream

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 but me I’m just a ticket tout I’ll always be a ticket tout
so don’t tell me that football- punters change
I like to serve communities and they can take me as they please
as long as they still fork up at the game

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 i’m just a simple ticket tout – I never wanna shout it out
I get that buzz inside it’s still the same
I clean up ev’ry now and then and then I blows it all again
it ain’t for mugs this ticket-touting game


Factual notes:
* “wavers” quite honest fans who are just happy to sell their tickets at face price to real fans.(the scourge of ever’y true tout!.)

** “toff” ‘ posh-rich upper class people (or could even be short for Everton fans!)
*** “oddie” a spare or single ticket..(.not odd at all really mate!)
editors note..
love em or loathe em..salt of the earth….they are are .dying breed ..but they’re still there..politically incorrect-total rip-offs and dodgy looks and warts and all..
this..on watching ‘Touts On Tour'(REALLY hysterical and candid documantary) on TV last night..

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/leave-it-out-touts-about/