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Noel Edmunds was playing a charity game,
But he wore the wrong boots to the ground.
The crowd was quite young, so did not know his name,
But they laughed as he slithered around.
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He slipped and he slid and he fell on his ass,
Till his jersey was no longer clean.
In fact, his whole kit had been stained by the grass
And became a most luminous green.
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One time, as he sprawled out face down on the pitch,
He felt someone’s studs on his back.
So he couldn’t get up to defend the flank, which
Did aid his opponents’ attack.
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With Edmunds thus harrassed, of course it did mean
The others had a free run on goal.
But no-one found out who the stranger had been,
Standing there on the grassy Noel.