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On the Agender.

HUGH MORRIS

Wednesday, March 17th, 2004

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 A’ th’ Annual Gen’ral Meetin’
O’ Tartantoon United,
Chairman Jock McStrapp stood up
An’ said, “I am delighted
T’ tell y’ sexism is nae mair,
It will no’ be allowed,
‘Cause I admire our womenfolk,
‘Spec’lly when they’re well endowed…
Sexism? We mus’ kick it oot
From Tartantoon t’ th’ Isle o’ Skye,
Inequality needs th’ boot,
Fair play rules och aye,
Make th’ lasses feel a’ hame,
I’m sure y’ all agree,
Else when th’ game is over
Who will make th’ tea?
An’ wash th’ foo’ball jerseys?
Or clean th’ dressin’ rooms?
Y’ must ha’ noticed how adept
Females are wi’ mops an’ brooms…
They mind all th’ unruly bairns
While we’re havin’ a wee dram,
Ladies are mos’ welcome here
As long as I’m Chairman.
There’s nae place for male chauvinists
In our foo’ball club,
Let’s ban th’ buggers from th’ groun’
An’ ugly women from th’ pub…”
He put th’ motion t’ th’ floor
An’ midst cheers heard thro’oot Fife,
Th’ members voted aul’ Jock oot
An’ replaced him wi’ his wife…

© Llew Beaton 17 March 2004.

Notes

Hugh Morris, his wife Sue Morris and his daughter Doris Morris (a.k.a.
Morris Minor) all say, ” Racism – Kick it Out, Sexism – Kick it Out.”

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/on-the-agender/