Raith, Hope and Charity
¶ 1
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James McHaggis, known as Jim,
Used t’ sing his fav’rit’ hymn,
“Lord protect Raith Rovers come what may…”
Wi’ inspiration from John Wesley,
He sang jus’ like Elvis Presley,
‘Twould resound around th’ ground on Saturday…
¶ 2
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He also took th’ foo’ball pools,
An’ one o’ his strict rules
Was t’ always mark Raith Rovers for a win,
Although aul’ Jim could choose
T’ predict his team would lose,
He considered tha’ would be a mortal sin…
¶ 3
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His teenage daughter Pearl,
Was a lovely lookin’ girl,
Conservative, religious an’ devout,
Niver took a drink,
Didna smoke I think,
An’ she only swore when it slipped out…
¶ 4
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Pearl said t’ her dear Dad,
“It really makes me sad,
Tha’ ev’ry week yer Raith result is wrong,
Y’ could win th’ pools quite soon,
If you’d only change yer tune,
An’ maybe sing a diff’rent holy song…”
¶ 5
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So nex’ week a’ th’ game,
Aul’ Jim hung his head in shame,
An’ stood there wi’ his face a deathly pale,
As th’ tears rolled down his cheeks,
He gave out some muffled squeaks,
Then whimpered, “Lord, allow Dunfermline t’ prevail…
¶ 6
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I mos’ humbly Thee entreat,
Make Raith Rovers taste defeat,
Though I have followed them religiously…”
But when th’ final whistle blew,
Wi’ Dunfermline 1 Raith 2,
Jim’s pools coupon showed a Rovers victory…
¶ 7
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Th’ cash he won was Heaven sent,
So Jim tithed his ten percent,
T’ th’ Presleyterian Church upon th’ hill,
An’ as for all th’ rest,
Jim did what he thought best,
An’ left it t’ Raith Rovers in his Will…
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