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The Big Read : fun with puns

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Footballers poll.
Reading. Books. Titles.
Shortlisted :

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 ~ i ~

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Jane Ayr
Gone With The Wyn Davies
Watch 22
Sons and Rovers
The Chelseakers
Art o’missed Foul
Hornblower and the Tottenham Hotspur
Sun Jihai Also Rises
Steve Death in the Afternoon
Rosenthal and Joey Jones (stern) are Red
Beats, Shoots and Leeds :
a zero tolerance approach to points accumulation
The Prisoner of Zenden
Sodom and Zamora
Dithering Whites
Robbed Roy
Test of the D’erby games
The Story of tracing Tim Breaker
Goodnight Mister Thome
A Suitable Bhoy
Shinguards! Shinguards!

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 ~ ii ~
This Sporting Poet Life

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 ~ iii ~

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 All Quiet on the Ujpesten Front
Gray Miserables
Beowolves
To Thrill a Dorking Bird
The Joy of Becks
Mr. Midfieldman Hornblower
Paradise Lost [2-0]
Gerry Peyton Place
Sven and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
Svens and Svensibility
Under Ron Greenwood Tree
Long Day’s Juve Inter Night

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 ~ iv ~

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 Michael Robinson Crusoe
Darren Huckerby Finn
The Millwall On The Floss
Silas Paul Mariner
De Profundis, The Ballad Of Reading Fc
A Christmas Roy Carroll
The Portrait Of Eddie Gray
Under Milk Cup Wood
The Rhyme Of The Ancient Paul Mariner
Legless ‘n Gazza
A Stamford Bridge Too Far
The Illustrated Fan
Andy King Lear
The Adventures of Rio Ferdinand Count Fathom
The Life and Adventures of Sir Launcelot Jimmy Greaves
A Wingers Tale

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 ~ v ~

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 Across the Pitch and Into the Goal
To Score and Score Not
Three Red Cards and Ten Yellows
For Whom The Ball Rolls

11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 ~ vi ~

12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 Parkhead Revisited
Nicky Chatterton’s Lover
The Mart PoomsDay Book
Lady Julian Gray
A Joe Royal Duty
The Alan Rough Guide to Britain
The Old-Ham and the Sea
To Kill a Henning Berg
Murder on the Leyton Orient Express

13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 ~ vii ~

14 Leave a comment on verse 14 0 The Catcher in the Ryman
Hamann For All Seasons
The Goalie Bible
The Wind in the Minnows
Pride Park and Prejudice
The Hitchiker’s Guide to Galatasaray
Vinnie the Pooh
Great Expectorations
War and Pearce
Gone With the Transfer Window
A Prayer for Owen Hargreaves
Joey Jones’s Diary
Molby Dick
Tord of the Rings
The Hodfather
Captain Corelli Heads It In
3 Lions, the Pitch and the Scored Goal
The Grapes of Raith
Ranger in a Strange Land
Ranger in Paradise
The Snows of Klinsmann’s Giro
Remembrance of Things Passed
Finnan’s Wake
Huckleberry Finnan
Heart of Harkness
Houllier’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
To Kick a Mockingbird
The Ruud Less Travelled
Palace’s Adventures in Blunderland
Dion Dubliners
Portrait of the Artist as a Young Fan
Uselessyes
Mein Bergkampf
One Flew Over The Cuckoos Net
Bonhof of the Vanities
Match 22
A Brief History of Half Time
Port Vale’s Complaint
A Confederacy of Inces
Anel Karenina
If On A Winger’s Night, A Traveller
20,000 Leagues Under Chelsea
The Taking of Beckham 1-2-3
Under Milk Cup
A Mols House
A Lyon in Winter
One Hundred Years Of Sols attitude
The World According to Garth
The Hartson is a Lonely Hunter
The Klinsmann Always Dives Twice

Notes

Some gems there I’m sure you’ll agree!

Obviously, based on the hot topic of autumn / winter 2003, the BBC Big Read project, with our own punderful slant.

We will consider this a work in progress, if anybody would like to contribute any other suggestions, please send to :

editors@footballpoets.org

The contributors so far :

~ i ~ Clik the mouse
~ ii ~ anon
~ iii ~ Peter Goulding
~ iv ~ Sharon Marshall
~ v ~ Michael ‘Sooner Gooner’ Adubato,
in praise of his favourite author, Ernest ‘Papa’ Hemingway
~ vi ~ John J O’Connor
~ vii ~ Eddie Gibbons

And my personal favourite? Eddie’s

Great Expectorations.

Very clever, and I’m ashamed to say it took me a while to work it out!

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/the-big-read-fun-with-puns/