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Back in the eighteen seventies, when football was a lad,
They had some discipline problems in the town of Leningrad.
The players were too bolshy, and no matter what was tried,
The matches always seemed to end up eight or nine a side.
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And so the Tsar, besieged by crowds, took matters into hand,
Decreeing a new law for players sent off in his land.
Their punishment was that they should be hung up by their feet,
From some imposing lamppost at the corner of the street.
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And thus, respect for referees did gradually improve,
And the merit of the Tsar’s decree was tricky to disprove.
The player had to hang a week before the torture ended,
And teams were badly weakened when their players were suspended.