The Sky!
¶ 1
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Me heart is beating rapidly
It could be palpatations
I can’t get the blimmin Sky to work
I’m devoid of entertainment
¶ 2
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The blimmin thing won’t dance or sing
And Sundays match is on the box
We’re away to Team Man USA
Tis the end of their epoch?
¶ 3
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My daughter went and ordered the thing
She’s in New Zealand on a a jaunt
I emailed and gave her a ring for instructions
The different timezones left me gaunt
¶ 4
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I’m staring at the blimmin box
Its staring back at me
Once of us could be leaving the house soon
I wonder who that’ll be?
¶ 5
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The match in vibrant colour
At the control beneath my thumb
But nothing at all’s happened
My whole right hand is numb
¶ 6
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I phone the hotline number
A lovely Scotch girl puts me right
‘Its absolutely no trouble at all Mr Raymond
I’m glad to help, good night’
¶ 7
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I never bought a ticket to the match
Cos I’m a know all who’s got Sky
I never have this trouble sat in the seats,
I’m a bloke who likes to be there, live, cheering on his side!
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