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I have never seen so long a queue
At St James’s Park
Some had arrived at the crack of dawn
And by now it was quite dark.
I was keen to get my Liverpool ticket
No choice but to join the queue
And after Seven hours
My feet were turning blue.
This lass was dressed as wonder woman
Yet still I did not twig
Behind me stood this Elvis bloke
Complete with cape and wig.
Elvis then informed me
As from his flask he poured a brew
If I was after football tickets
I had chosen the wrong queue.
Go and join that smaller one
And save yourself some bother
This one is for the auditions
For Channel Four’s BIG BROTHER.
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