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Oh what a massacre.

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 For those of a claret and blue
Disposition repeatedly
At times or so it seems
A massacre on a monumental scale
First it was Villa a while back
Now it was down by the Cottage
West Ham sunk by the hottest
Properties
There can be no dressing this one
Up, flattened by Fulham
London Stadium estate agents
Are speechless and dumbfounded
Villas and Cottages
Outclassing the Stratford
Claret and blue pied a terres
The studio apartments
Overlooking the River Thames
Now in Fulham’s safe possession
West Ham, well and truly hammered
Five of the best for the Cottagers
Tommy Trinder would have been convulsed
With gales of laughter
You lucky people
He might have said
Now beat that one
Or even Beat the Clock
On Palladium stages
When Sunday meant church
And rest rather than
Toil and exertion
That’s 10 goals in two
Games for the Cottagers
A dressing down
Lambasting and blasting
Of Thames Ironworks
Into submission
Poor old West Ham
But no tea and sympathy
Excuses redundant
Moyes muttered mumblings
Grumblings of too much
Too often
No time for rehabilitation
Recovering in time
For Sunday lunch
It could have been double
Figures but for the wind
Next to Father Thames
Time to forget
The Villa and Cottage
Let them nestle
Gracefully by the river
Maybe just a forgettable day
At the office
We never did like that printer
Or photocopier anyway
Fulham administer revenge
For the 1975 FA Cup Final
Emphatically
Unequivocally
Knocked down onto the canvas
And then into another country
Demolished
Like the wrecking ball
Fulham full of themselves
West Ham
Just annoyingly unpredictable
Shell shocked
Nay less traumatised
By chronological
Discrepancies
Now say that with a mouthful
Of chocolate biscuits
Thursday and Sunday football
For the claret and blues
Surely Wednesday and Saturday
Would have been far preferable
For the faithful Irons fans
Who used to look forward
To three on a Saturday afternoon
Time frames correct
And we knew where we were
But today was inexcusable
It’s Freiburg in the final
Europa League round robin
On Thursday
Concluding bouts
Yet more ever increasing circles
Though, dizzy and perhaps stale
And just before Christmas
One last weekend
Before exhaustion and
Battle fatigue set in
But today the Cottagers
Hammered opponents
With mallets of formidable skill
Please let there be never
Any repetition

7

Notes

So the Hammers are hammered by the Cottagers. West Ham are thumped 5-0 by Fulham.

Source: https://footballpoets.org/poems/oh-what-a-massacre/