Football Poets

The Germans and Ecuador

¶ 1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 So Germany are human,
Flawed, prone to error
They do have a soft underbelly
Through to the knock out stage
Of World Cup fiestas and siestas
But last night the nation
That gave us Beethoven, Bach
And classical composers
Of often beautifully constructed
Football of the highest order
And a fair sprinkling of
World Cups
World Champions four times
Finally came unstuck
Exposed by Ecuador
Now therein lies a tale
To tell their future generation
Of families and grandchildren
They were there to see it all
Courageous from the kick off
Fearless to the bone,
Throwing caution to the wind
Stretching the Germans one way
Beating a path to the doorstep
Of their less than lustrous history
It was typical though
The Germans had to nab the sun loungers
And drape their Teutonic towels
While the Brits were still rubbing
Their sore heads after
A night of alcoholic heaven
Booze nirvana
But last night was no holiday
For the Germans, no sign of
A picnic at all
Initially Germany had thought
They’d cracked it
Understandably arrogant and
Preening themselves with
An inevitable 90 minutes
Of presumptuousness and poise
No problems at all for the Germans
No sweat, we’ll have Ecuador
For breakfast, lunch and tea
Feeble opposition
Let’s polish them off immediately
Within minutes the Germans had parked themselves
On the bright, green lawns of America
A goal, questioned at first
But then given
It was always thus with the Germans.
Debatable for high kicking
And law violations
But of course it wasn’t a foul
Never disagree with
German hubris and superiority
They know best undoubtedly
The late Kaiser Franz Beckanbauer
Tall and imposing as a
German lighthouse
Statesmanlike and statuesque
He would have raised his arm
In wild transports of celebration
It had to be a goal,
Immediately, of course he would
Insist as such
In acknowledgement of a goal
Of course, and none argued
Then the Germans kept flowing,
Slowing from time to time
But then somebody took out
The proverbial batteries
Of the German attack
Gerd Mueller would have had kittens
No service, no goals
For the regimented German army
And yet so often over the years
The Germans have been the nemesis
For innumerable English collapses
1966 may have been the exception
When Bobby, Nobby, Geoff,
Roger and Martin
Put those incorrigible West Germans
To the sword
Germans bowed but never beaten
For four years later
Those immaculate West Germans
Left Bobby, Martin, Jeff and Mullers
Masculine Alan Mullery
Panting in the heat of Guadalajara,
Where toxic food poisoning
Befell the Banks of England
And Peter Bonetti did purr briefly
But then the Cat
Fell victim to an unfortunate case
Of butter fingers
Mexican miserable melancholy
Mueller swivelled sensually
With those tree trunk thighs
And blasted the ball past the Cat
German supremacy
Cast in stone for the next
Decade and decades to follow
Until that famous night when
A Merseyside marvel
And Liverpool legend
Named Michael Owen
Startled a German audience
As England sparkled scintillatingly
And the scoreboard proudly proclaimed
5-1 to Blighty. How about that one?
Take that Herr and Frau
And then there was the Euros
Of recent vintage
When Gareth’s gladiators
Surpassed themselves
Victory again
Two world wars and one World Cup
Take that Deutschland
But it is, after all only a game
And yet for all those Indian signs
Witchcraft and hoodoos
England have never quite
Reached such stratospheric nights
Against the Germans
Incidentally you can keep your comedy
For the Germans have never made us laugh
Oh you do jest and joke
But last night most
English gentlemen and women
And of course,
Children were convulsed with
Laughter and hilarity
The Germans showed their Achilles Heel
Gaping defensive holes
Ecuador did equalise
And the world was no longer
Populated by Karl Heinz Rummenigges,
Felix Magaths, Uwe Seelers,
Wolfgang Overaths , the commander in chief,
Jurgen Klinsmann, Spurs finest ambassador
Models of pedantic correctness
Volkswagen technical efficiency
Upright, demanding respect
From the global community
Ecuador, with a nick from a corner
Nestling in the net like a Roman coin,
Now glinting and gleaming
The winner
A most valuable historical artefact
Priceless as they come
Ecuador through to the
World Cup knock out stage
Ecuador, yes, you’ve done it
We salute you

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