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Jason, be my Lover

Peter Goulding

Monday, August 11th, 2003

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Praise the Lord, oh, happy day
That Jason got the dart from Bray,
I’d love to see him play away,
Jason, be my lover.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Robbie Keane’s more famous cousin
Bound to bag about two dozen,
Round the box, he’s always buzzin’
Oh, Jason be my lover.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 At the heart of Shels’ attacks
Muscling past the centre-backs,
A nicer arse than Tony Mac’s
Jason, be my lover.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 When I’m feeling out of sorts,
I think about his skimpy shorts,
I yearn to join his Argonauts,
Oh, Jason be my lover.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 He always looks so neat and trim,
Feeds off balls from Wes and Jim,
I wish that I could sleep with him
Jason, be my lover.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Doherty and Tony Mac’ll
Thread their balls to make him crackle,
I’ll stand up to watch his tackle,
Jason, be my lover.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 Surrounded by away team’s shirts,
He always goes in where it hurts,
His energy just comes in spurts
Jason, be my lover.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 I do not think it very droll
When Jason has his back to goal
And Ollie sticks it in the hole,
Jason, be my lover.

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 Muscly thighs and rolled-up socks,
Bravely takes his share of knocks
I’d love to mark him in the box
Jason, be my lover.

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 Other fans may jeer and scoff,
But he’s my Mikhail Gorbachev,
Hope Nutsy never pulls him off,
Oh, Jason, be my lover.

Notes

Jason Byrne, Robbie Keane’s more famous cousin, scored 13 goals in his first ten games for Shelbourne. Naturally, as soon as I wrote this orgasmic eulogy, the goals dried up.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/jason-be-my-lover/