Cannot defend the defenders When they sell the keeper short Send the score sheet to the menders We cannot keep it down to nought All we have to do to win Is score more goals than them But their strikers are much faster They show no mercy in the Prem We attack successfully as a […]

It came without goals! It came without cards and whistles! It came without a capacity crowd and the smell of sprouts! The scheduling chiefs at Sky TV Hatched a surefire way to upset me They’ve moved our Boxing Day game back a day Leaving us no festive game to play Shock and horror in Canaryland […]

For footie fans, stress can be fatal Learn to breathe at the ante-natal Calm down, breathe deep, and slowly exhale Too much excitement can make your heart fail The faces are strained, the knuckles are white Knees are trembling, chests are tight I don’t want to give you a lecture But I don’t want to […]

Time to hang up my boots Knees ready to say goodnight Princesses for granddaughters No need to prolong the fight I’ve always been beaten for skill And I wasn’t blessed with pace My fitness sadly let me down Fair play and discipline disgraced I’m getting on, well forty nine It’s time to do the swap […]

Canaries Win Premier League 2011/2 (for the best home football shirt) The Prem is stunned by our success Ending many years of hurt City won the ‘best home shirt’ award And what’s more, they don’t show the dirt Our boardroom isn’t full of stuffed shirts Though Delia has been known to stuff a marrow Our […]