Football Poets

Sometimes, it’s in the darkest closets
Where shines the brightest gem
So foragers search by torchlight
Scouting for the Prem!

Then rough edges are polished
To make ’em sparkle and gleam
Coaches are those lint […]

I hear Capello is checking out
Barry Blue
And Jason Orange
Purple Pete
And Rusty Redd
I hear Capello is lacking
In carbon footprint
Too many airmiles –
To his job he’s wed

I hear Capello is a -watching
Gary […]

Robert Green, Robert Green, diving through the mud
Robert Green, Robert Green, landing with a thud
Steals on the pitch
Gives to the (back) four
Robert Green, Robert Green, Robert Green

He came to Nottingham […]

Typical football –
One week you’re up
The next week you’re down
Lower than an asp’s ass
Or Hampstead under-heath

Defeat and injury
Are Satans simile
To Danté’s Inferno

Mischief, thou art afoot!

Whence big expectations
Came unstuck
No magic dust
From Lady Luck

Portent be mighty
For seasons end
Especially aligned
With Big Phil’s big spend

But now a witches brew
Of Claret & […]

A team made up entirely of former FA Cup winners, could enter next season’s FA Cup.
The idea is that the legends join a non-league club but will only play in the cup competition.
(for more on the story – see […]

There are some nights
when the head’s not right
when the worries are accumulating – faster than credit crunch debt

You’ve a cricked neck
a higgledy hip
an ailing mother
a sick child
a miffed wife
you’ve had a […]

“We’re trying hard not to hate Luke McCormick at the moment, but people like David Norris are making it very difficult to do that.”

Amanda Peak, mother of Aaron and Ben.

There speaks a dignified woman
Who […]

Pigmentation shouldn’t come into it
Nor the heritage before your birth
But what should really count
Is that we’re all of this Earth

It shouldn’t matter if it’s at club level
Or encountered as an […]

On the one night …
We have a dealmaker living the dream
As envisaged by Martin Luther King

And across the pond
An arbiter dashing the dreams
With decisions that sorely sting

Soon Obama and his cronies
Will d […]

When words
Can’t convey what we really mean

When all the pent up emotion
Is anathema to squeeky clean

When words
That talk of pride about our tribe

Just tumble out
In blasphemy and jibe

When words
Ordered and […]

Defeat sits heavily
on the once verdant plane that is Stamford Bridge
The battlefield runs red from wounded warriers
and Scouse oppressors
And the shrouding mist is no longer just hot air
in the autumnal chill […]

I learned a new legal term today
Looked it up – and much to my dismay
(Though at first glance it looks like it could) – it’s not one I can use
To decribe them out there, that lights our fuse

Aye, them that peturb […]

It’s anti-football
They come ‘n park the bus
Keep it tight
And create a fuss

No-one likes it
It sure ain’t pretty
The game don’t flow
It’s bothersome ‘n bitty

Some say it’s necessary
But I don’t agree
For it’s […]

I see a manager
All at sea
He was courted and féted
But sinking now – we all agree

‘The best team always wins. The rest is only gossip’.

His own quote.
Accordingly, we gossip’d about him a lot
But I don’t buy it
He took teams beyond their means
And because I believe good guys CAN win – as in […]

The curtain opens
and reveals
the panto dames
and kicking heels

A thirst repealed
we’ll be assuaged
with some prima donna
like as not upstaged

Hearts will pump
but conceit conceals
that a blaggard longs
for […]

My recurrent dream punctured:
At the goal-scoring juncture

What a terrible thought:
A world without Sport

And worse –
No footy verse

And REM have already released
A song for the deceased :

“It’s the end of the […]

“We won’t be resting on our morals”
“It was great to score on my derby”
Now, I’m partial to many quarrels
But I’ll not defend – that footballers are dimmer than Barbie!

GARDEN.

GREEN
GRASS
MUST
WALK
PAST
BALL.
MUST
RE-SIST
URGE
TO
KICK
BALL.
MUST
FIN-ISH
CHORES.
OH
HOW
THE
BORES
WHO
HATE
OUR
GAME
MUST
REV-EL
IN
THIS
OUR
VOID
UN-TIL
ONCE
A-GAIN
WE
ARE
BUOYED
BY […]