Football Poets

You’ve taken ten points off us,
But we are not dismayed.
There’s plenty more still up for grabs,
Loads matches to be played.

Of ten points you have stripped us,
But we’re not mice, we’re men.
So […]

The Table don’t look healthy,
We’ve really messed things up.
But we’re not worried in the least,
There’s three teams worse than us …

I popped into the barber’s,
To get my long hair clipped.
The o […]

I woke up this mornin’.
Turned on my TV.
Bad nooz was comin’
From the Premier League.
They read out the rankings,
OMG, what a fright.
Cos right down there at the bottom were…
My beloved Blue and […]

Success is counted sweetest
By those who don’t succeed.
To win a World Cup Final,
Some goals to score you need.
Sure, you can save a penalty,
Can hit the post or bar,
But if you don’t put ball in […]

Milan, Inter, BolognA.
Ooh ah, Serie A!

Atalanta, VeronA.
Ooh ah, Serie A!

Juve, Lecce, Empoli.
Ooh ah, Serie A!

Udinese, Napoli.
Ooh ah, Serie A!

Sassuolo and Cagliari.
Ooh ah, Serie A! […]

They’ll never know how much we love ’em.
Never know how much we care.
But when they step out on the Hallowed Turf,
We get a feeling that’s beyond compare.

They give us Fever, in the p.m.,
Fever under […]

The Toffees have unearthed a Diamond,
Playing in the Swedish League.
“Or maybe the Norwegian one?”
“No, Danish, I believe.”

He’s built like that proverbial House
That’s made of solid brick.
A man for […]

Guv’nor plonked a Big Screen in a London Jail,
Inmates gathered round, they had no wine or ale.
Only wheatgrass, tea or coffee they could sup,
But my, you shoulda seen ’em lap that Final Up!

Let’s […]

Until thirteen, disliked Footee!
Perhaps because I played so bad.
Other sports too, the Egg ‘n’ Spoon,
Or weird game played with ball and bat…

Came Pubertee, what did I see?
A bunch of blokes chasing a […]

Well, Peter Osgood was good –
Of Stamford Bridge The King.
But Kenny was more regal,
All Koppites will insist.

And then there’s that skilled Belfast Boy,
Whose family name was Best.
Had he been […]

People try to put me down,
Talkin’ ’bout my Coronation.
Just because I wear a crown.
Talkin’ ’bout my Coronation.

Then they claim I’m far too old,
Talkin’ ’bout my Coronation.
And I cost my weight […]

Will you come to De Ferrari, will you come?
Not a shadow of a doubt that you’ll have fun.
There’ll be thousands in that Square,
If you have some time to spare,
You should come to De Ferrari, you should […]

Let’s consider certain beers:
Carlsberg Lager,
Watney’s Red Barrel,
DD (K9P).
These brews are quite undrinkable.

Now ponder on some other things:
One’s own death,
A Tory win at the next General […]

If you think that hungry schoolkids
Do not get enough to eat,
And you’re a famous footballer,
It’s easy – write a tweet.

If you reckon Generation Z
Enough books do not read,
And you are a comedian, […]

Abraham was set to sacrifice his much-loved son.
The good Lord intervened – Isaac reprieved.
Agamemnon needed wind to sail and conquer Troy.
Iphigenia? A nice gift for the gods!
But some say that a deer w […]

An out of work Gaffer named Sean,
Heard his phone ringing early one morn.
He accepted a job at a basket case Club,
Then wished he had never been born.

They said we were ungrateful,
When we sacked Allardyce.
And now we’ve fired Frank Lampard –
We really are not nice.

But football’s about winning,
We’re hungry for success,
So poor old Frankie had […]

Where are we?
Joint Bottom!
Who we with?
With Soton.
Where are we?
Joint Bottom.
Rip it up, start over again.

Past glories?
Forgotten!
Finances?
They’re rotten.
Where are we?
Joint Bottom. […]