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Three Teams Worse Than Us

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 1 The Table don’t look healthy,
We’ve really messed things up.
But we’re not worried in the least,
There’s three teams worse than us …

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 I popped into the barber’s,
To get my long hair clipped.
The owner is a Koppite,
He likes to takes the Mick.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 He said “Oh, hi there Bluenose,
For you the game is up.”
I countered “Not so fast there, mate,
There’s three teams worse than us.”

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 I hopped into a taxi,
And yelled “Follow that car!”
The cabbie said “Hey, ‘Tonian,
Your Toffees won’t get far.”

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 I said “Just drive your motor,
And keep your mouth tight shut.
We’re not in any danger,
There’s three teams worse than us.”

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Now I won’t say which teams these are,
I don’t want to tempt Fate.
But there must be three sides out there
Whose record is not great.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 Three Teams who cannot pass the ball,
Three with wobbly back four.
Three teams who’ve banged in fewer goals,
Three teams who’ve let in more.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 We’re not one teeny bit concerned,
We do not fret or fuss.
We’re quite laid back, chilled out, relaxed,
There’s three teams worse than us.

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 But just suppose we’ve got it wrong,
There is no Threesome such.
Then we too will have to agree,
The game is truly up!

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 30/10/23
Denys E. W. Jones

27

Notes

*I wrote the rough draft of this one on the morning of Sunday 29th October, before Everton’s somewhat surprising win away to West Ham.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/three-teams-worse-than-us/