My girlfriend’s red setter Inspires me to grin. When I went to pet her She near broke my chin But what could be better Than seeing your team win? I painted my ceiling With brandy and port. Therapeutically healing, I did it for sport But there just ain’t no feeling Like vict’ry hard fought. When […]

‘Twas Christmas Eve and all the kids Awaited Santa’s coming, Although the rain was bouncing down Like fifty drummers drumming. Mrs. Claus said to her husband, Prefaced with a kiss, “You wouldn’t send a reindeer out Upon a night like this. Playing football with the elves Just left you sadly wheezing, And, as you missed […]

Santa Claus had no idea He’d left his list behind him, Poor Rudolph had gone on the beer And Santa couldn’t find him. Then Santa crashed into a door, And all the toys got muddled, And, when he ‘woke with head so sore, His mind had been befuddled. His sleigh was wrecked beyond repair, And […]

A curse upon thee, hawthorn bush That skirts this meadow green and lush, Where me and Notcher, Wayne and Jock Played football until four o’clock. For hours we scored with bullet headers From corner balls that Notcher fed us, And sometimes we would volley true With nothing goalie Jock could do. A curse upon thy […]

(A very long poem of sin and redemption) (The Middle-aged Shelbourne fan accosts supporters outside the ground) The Tolka floodlights lit the night, Four beacons to resilience, To bring the faithful to the light And bathe them in their brilliance. Outside of Shelbourne Football Club, The people started queuing, Not for them the local pubs […]