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‘Twas Christmas Eve and all the kids
Awaited Santa’s coming,
Although the rain was bouncing down
Like fifty drummers drumming.
Mrs. Claus said to her husband,
Prefaced with a kiss,
“You wouldn’t send a reindeer out
Upon a night like this.
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Playing football with the elves
Just left you sadly wheezing,
And, as you missed a sitter, I
Distinctly heard you sneezing.”
She felt his brow and said,
[Together with another kiss]
“I think you’re coming down with flu,
You’d best give it a miss.”
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Santa pushed his chair back and
He stood up with a frown,
“Oh, no!” he cried, “There’s no way I
Could let the children down!
Imagine in the morning,” he cried,
In a tone that shocked her,
“Instead of toys they only found
A sick note from my doctor.”
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“Okay, okay,” his wife exclaimed,
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
But when you’re six feet underground,
I will not come to mourn you.
To go outside on such a night
Is frankly quite insane, dear.
So, take the Merc or Jag, but please
Don’t go out in the rain, dear.”