Well, the news from the hospital is really pretty grim. Neymar broke a vertebra, looks like you’ve done for him. They’re gathering at the hospital and shouting out his name and searching all the buildings for the person who’s to blame. Don’t mind them when they tell you that this football’s just a game. A […]

Before this round, the football had inspired me to think of this World Cup as my best friend. Today the act of watching only tired me. Japan, Iran, Algeria all fired me with hope that this old game was on the mend. Oh yes! Till now, the football had inspired me. ‘Twas only obligation that […]

This match was definitely three-dimensional, with length and breadth though not a lot of height. The lack of depth, I’m sure, was unintentional but deeper meanings did not come to light. Schweinsteiger had considerable girth and Neuer loomed as large as any man. Hümmels threw his girdle round the earth and finished off the move […]

It seems that you’re at something of a loss, dear, as if you’ve just awoken from a coma. Don’t worry ‘bout your goggly eyes because, dear, it’s only temporary, this glaucoma. Let me introduce you to your son, dear. See how much he’s grown since you last saw him. Be gentle with him, or he’ll […]

Alongside football, FIFA has been holding a most exciting World Cup of arm-folding, a fringe event that is enjoyed by millions, not only the arm-folding-mad Brazilians. Eleven are selected from each nation to undergo a stern examination. Each player must perform a quarter turn to gaze out of the telly, looking stern, and then, maintaining […]