Football Poets

Everyone laughs at the “fat man”
Playing up to the cameras
In his footie shirt bursting at the seams
Like his skin
People love to mock the fallen angel
Because his flaws make him more human
For his football skills […]

Iconic shirt seller
Whose boots
Are copied and replicated
If Andy Warhol was alive
David Beckham would be duplicated
A silkscreen print hero
Not galactico.

Good fun this writing poems about football
Being a football poet
Although everyone laughs
And thinks you’re mad
To write for nowt like
Walking the stoniest path
Because the publishing houses
“Don’t do Football […]

COMING HOME LATE

Knees cut and jeans wrecked
Trainers muddy laces drag
Shirt ripped hair a mess
But best of all we won the match!

Offside never see that foul
The goal is mine you what you what
Fast as lightning […]

The Premier League costs so much money
Myriad tales debauched debased
The Championship is now “real football”
To me “New Football” seems the case

The ads cry out to those of big clubs
“Choose a second club” […]

Hammers hero England’s Captain
Football played the beautiful way
When God handed out boots built for glory
Yours was always His first name

Short of pace but picked out crosses
Half a yard did sprinting boots
And […]

Imagine Billy Liddell
Sickened by the studs down his legs
Weary with the fouls on him ignored by refs
Bloodied by the back heel sleight of boots
That lunged into his pulsating runs
Week in week out
Tired of the […]

Another new shirt logo change
Brand new boots sewn in his name
Different sponsors the prices rise
Cost of tickets now sky high

Take the kids meet at the ground
Online punters all these touts
Q like lemmings […]

Hard not to like him
But should have had a word with
Diouf for jumping up and down
Infront of the press box
Every time Bolton looked like
They might score
Surrounded by Liverpool fans
Wont win him respect should […]

So well named the tall lad there
Stands up straight clouds in his hair
But ‘Arry Redknapp knows the game
And taught him well, Jim Smith the same
Awkward gangly like spaghetti
Unlike Thierry a graceful swan
In […]

Not for me Kanoute’s beauty
Henry’s chic with me won’t score
Stevie Gerrard all red passion
But Stan Ternent Je t’adore

Freddie Ljungberg in his undies
Leaves me cold I simply yawn
Bobby Pires completely […]

Hello Dad I hope you’re well
Our beloved Reds took all 3 points
I know you watch in Heaven’s Kop
Still singing loud the Anfield songs

Me bluenose Grandad with his brothers
Season ticket holders I’m ashamed to […]

Just one point behind the blue noses
Traore passes, IGGGOOOORRRR scores
Like Moses said “there’s nowt for losers
Close the gap and now come fourth”.

Shearer sign for another season
FA Cup around the corner
UEFA contenders magpies singing
Then Dyer and Bowyer chuck it all.

Must be blessed
With something special
The Arsenal sharp shooter
The net dreams
Of goals like these
It’s what the ball is made for.

What a question when it comes to national identity
When your maternal Irish and paternal Welsh
All my colours merge as Red
“You’re Scouse, not English” me Dad always said
But national anthems not for me
No kings […]

I have to admit to a change of affection for Delia Smith
I don’t like all that cooking lark on the telly
Posh chefs and all that nonsense
Whilst half the world starves
I’ve no appetite for that kind of rank […]

It worked the magic
Spirits moved
Mention IGOOOORRRRRR
Bless his pegs
IGOORRR swings
I’ll change me name
From now on
I’m MYSTIC MEG!

Look at Number 35
That Lad’s a scouser (yeah well a blue)
But David Nugent cuts defenders
Carves them up and races through
Heels of lightning Christ he’s fast
I’ve watched him scoring he’s a gem
With Cisse crocked […]

Is someone sponsoring IGOOOORRRRR!
Not to smile? Is his glum expression fixed?
I’ve watched him dozen of times almost smile
His croatian reserve cast aside
As he threatened to match the vison of his
Price tag […]