Feng Shui and the World Cup
Don’t call me a Jobsworth
Just because I shop at Woolworths
For a winter cardigan,
I’ve a good eye for a bardigain,
I enjoy the sweet seduction
Of a price reduction
For a winter woolie
In the shop that folk call Woolies,
And I like the oddity
Of buying a commodity
Whose name is the same as the shop.
But struth I never knewee
That Woolies sold Feng Shui
Cut down by lots of pennies
To honestly
Hardly any
Thing
At all.
In total fee,
Just 2 pounds and the obligatory 99 p!
So I got on the ‘phone
To the wife at home –
She was at the sink –
While I had a drink,
With me mates from the club,
At the local pub,
And I said “Hello darling, cooee,
What about Feng Shui?”
While I imbibed,
I discussed the vibe
Of all our rooms
And how they’d improve,
As will our luck
For the World Cup,
If the telly’s good vibrations
And cardinal emanations
Were positioned harmoniously,
Then they would bring us victory,
Far across the sea,
In the Orient’s Group of Death.
She curtly said “No way!
It’s pronounced foong shway! –
But you’ve taken all this time
To construct this rhyme,
So OK then dearest Stuee,
Buy the cheap Feng Shui –
For it might bring us luck
In the World Cup,
And you’ll write like Percy Shelley
If you get the telly
In the right place
For celestial peace and grace,
And this domestic harmony
Might well bring us victory
Far across the oceans’ length,
In the Group entitled Death.” –
So now you find the bed
In the garden shed,
And the TV set
Is getting wet
In its so-called proper place
In a shady space;
Far from our field of vision,
Is the television,
It’s masked by all the trees,
And the swaying of the leaves,
But we’ve done our duty,
In promoting beauty,
And when our team doth win,
And you all doth sing,
Please don’t think of Sven,
But remem-
Ber Feng
Shui
Knewee
Best.
(I’ll be listening
On the wire-less)
About This Site
Welcome to Football Poets -- a club for all football poets, lovers of football and lovers of (alternative) poetry. Discover poets in every league from respected internationals at the top of their game to young hopefuls in the school playground.
Publish your football poems here and then discuss them with your team mates and fans. We're archived by The British Library, so your masterpieces are in the safe hands of a world-class keeper. What a result!
My Account
Latest Poems
Denys E. W. Jones
25th April 2024
kevin halls
23rd April 2024
Alex Saynor
23rd April 2024
joe morris
23rd April 2024
Crispin Thomas
22nd April 2024
Denys E. W. Jones
21st April 2024
joe morris
20th April 2024
Clik The Mouse
15th April 2024
Mike Bartram
15th April 2024
joe morris
14th April 2024
Crispin’s Corner
In Memoriam
Kick It Out & Christmas Truce
Latest Comments
25th April 2024 at 1:56 pm
Thanks Joe,
you might like to write a poem yourself on the same subject…
See in context
23rd April 2024 at 4:03 pm
Hi Denys
With you all the way on the abolition of FA Cup replays. What are they doing to the game?
See in context
23rd April 2024 at 3:59 pm
Hi Crispin,
Yes sorry mate. Villa are still in Europe. Mistake rectified.
Cheers
Joe
See in context
20th April 2024 at 12:04 pm
Hi Joe
Shouldn’t your title read your poem Farewell Europe England to everyone exccept Aston Villa ?
I know you mention them in your poem , but I do feel sorry for Villa re the national press .
Largely ignored. the hype was was all about Man City & Arsenal with a bit of a nod to the Hammers..but hardly a mention of Villa..
So well done to them
C
.
See in context
19th March 2024 at 8:00 am
Hi Crispin. Chris Sutton on the radio has gone for a Chelsea v Coventry final. As we know anything can happen in the Cup, and I reckon we can go to the final.
We’re still in with a chance of the play offs too, so lots to go for.
See in context
19th March 2024 at 7:41 am
Hey Kev
Let the masses drool over their odds on City v Unted Final, but who knows how pressure can hit.
Cov and Chels will be rightly labelled as having no chance..but hey …stranger things have happened..
so Chelsea v Coventry…that’s the Final for us!
Best
C
See in context
29th January 2024 at 10:03 pm
Hi Crispin,
How are you doing mate? Yes, you’re probably right but hey football is all about emotion and passion and I just love writing about the game. I try to keep my poetry to a reasonable length but there’s so much to write about the game and its literature just lends itself naturally to poetry. Sometimes I just get completely carried and I do apologise for the length of my poetry but it’s a great thrill to be associated with Football Poets.
Cheers mate
Joe
See in context
10th January 2024 at 7:52 pm
You’re right of course Joe but…..it’s actually more of a big welcome break for everyone who is not into Premier League ..I’m talking fans of EFL National League and below…..
Btw …is this actually your longest poem ever !?
Best
Crispin
See in context
8th January 2024 at 4:45 pm
Thanks!
See in context
8th January 2024 at 10:42 am
There’s something so evocative and nostalgic for football fans the world over, in ‘revisiting’ old lost grounds.
Occasionally some remnants remain, with perhaps part of a wall or part or a stand or thre shape of a terrace, but often they are only still there in faded images and in our heads..
Great stuff Graham
See in context