Why Don’t People Whistle Anymore? (Unless They’re A Ref?)
WHISTLING
Why don’t people whistle anymore?
My dad used to embarrass me
With his whistling constantly,
Any refrain
That came in his brain,
And he could go on for hours
And hours
And hours;
And even though he embarrassed me
With his whistling constantly
I have some veneration
For my father’s generation
And it’s ability to whistle
Like the thrush they call the missle;
They could do it at the drop of a hat,
Whether standing, sleeping, sitting or sat,
But now you only whistle free
If you are a referee,
But why don’t people whistle anymore?
It’s not as though they’ve passed a law
Making it a criminal offence
To disturb the silence whence
Some dictatorial attack
Like some Criminal Whistling Act.
So why don’t people whistle anymore?
If the answer’s not criminological,
Perhaps it’s sociological,
For it is not the case today,
And please listen, don’t go away,
Today there is less silence to break,
Less listless boredom to shake,
With Muzak attacking our heads
And radio alarms invading our beds;
Or is it because there’s just less waiting around,
Less staring aimlessly at the ground,
Less waiting for things to happen,
Like waiting for a train
Or sheltering from the rain,
And doing it in Public,
Communally,
In society,
But feeling alone,
In your private space,
Whistling.
But in our private world today,
You get in a car and straight away
You turn on your tape, radio or C.D.,
Get home and switch on the T.V.,
And there’s less private space in public today,
And that I’m sorry for to say
Is why people don’t whistle anymore,
But we’re going to even up the score,
But before I whistle oh so glad,
There’s just one more thing that I should add,
One item more for the agenda
Yes, perhaps we should look at Gender.
Why didn’t women whistle?
To Housewives’ Choice, pushing the Bex Bissell?
I never saw a woman whistle,
Whether dissolute or Catholic with a missal;
But now let’s put the horse behind the cart,
When in the past did whistling first start?
When was it first mentioned in literature?
Who was that first whistling creature,
Whistling a line
In prose, poem or rhyme,
In high pitch, medium or low,
Was it Shakespeare, Swift or Defoe?
But enough of ages gone by,
We should all whistle now, let us try,
And we’ll bring social whistling back
And get it back on the right track;
‘Whistle while you work
You needn’t feel a burke”
When feeling alone in public,
And musically expressing it,
With some furtive melody,
Someone else will join in, just you see,
And the you create harmony
From individuality,
And you reverse the 2nd law of Thermodynamics
With your whistling oscular aerodynamics;
“Strangers in the night
Exchanging Whistles”,
No longer tuned into
Contemporary
Unconscious
Loneliness,
It’s the end of Angst, as we know it,
And was it not Whistler, the painter and poet,
Who wrote plainly, in prose, not in rune,
That when you whistle a happy tune
You whistle and the whole world whistles with you,
But when you don’t whistle,
You don’t whistle,
Alone.
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Welcome to Football Poets -- a club for all football poets, lovers of football and lovers of (alternative) poetry. Discover poets in every league from respected internationals at the top of their game to young hopefuls in the school playground.
Publish your football poems here and then discuss them with your team mates and fans. We're archived by The British Library, so your masterpieces are in the safe hands of a world-class keeper. What a result!
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John Gilbert Ellis
28th November 2024
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Denys E. W. Jones
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Latest Comments
27th November 2024 at 5:55 am
‘You’re Supposed To Be At Home’ is an excellent and moving poem Denys.
You start off thinking it’s just about another oft-sung chant, one we personally heard a lot last season throughout our second relegation in a row here at Forest Green(FGR) ! I always love poems where you think they are saying one thing and then they suddenly pull you deeper to somewhere or something else else.
I’m currently helping in a local school for FGR in a voluntary capacity using football to help young students with reading. At an upcoming session we will tackle racism, just like we did in workshops at football schools and grounds when we first started this site 24 years ago. I’m gonna try and weave your poem into a session.
We’ve added it to the Anti- Racism/Kick It Out section under Crispin’s Corner.
Best C
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26th November 2024 at 1:59 pm
Great poem and great to see you back Wyn.
Don’t leave it so long next time my friend!
More please.
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13th September 2024 at 6:14 pm
Welcome to Football Poets Beth
Great evocative poem Beth….
More please !
Haiku always welcome.
Hope we (FGR) get to play you again soon
Best
Crispin
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26th July 2024 at 6:25 pm
Great poem Mike Bartram. Eddie was a legend, affectionately known in Liverpool as, “the first hooligan.” Even the hoolies were well dressed in those days. The amazing thing was he was only 26 when that picture was taken. He’d played for Everton youth team and was well known to the players. He never got arrested. They threw him out and he climbed back in, just in time for Derek Temples winner.
I used the picture of him being tackled to the ground on the front cover of my book, “Once Upon a rhyme in Football.” It’s worth looking on youtube and finding the re-enactment of the Wembley scene. Frank Skinner and Baddiel went around to Eddies home in the 1990’s and acted it out on the green outside. It’s hilarious, especially all the effort they put in to get Eddie sober enough to shoot the scene.
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10th July 2024 at 6:07 pm
Hi Crispin,
I don’t know if you’ve see the picture in social media today…
a picture of a teenage Lionel Messi cradling a baby in Africa as part of a photoshoot…. the family had won a lottery to have their baby pictured with him….
the photographer has just revealed that the baby is actually in fact Lamine Yamal!!!!
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26th May 2024 at 2:30 pm
Hi Denys…
Re Man City:
OK it was 20 years ago but Criag Wilson did write this and a few others on them back in 04/05.
BTW I’m more Forest Green Rover since 2014 (and Chelsea) these days . I drum and am a standing season ticket holder .
Best
Crispin
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29th April 2024 at 2:47 pm
Hi Denys,
Yes Richard Williams you’re a brilliant wordsmith, my friend. When I first saw your football poetry I thought it was the superb Guardian sports and music writer. I once had the honour of sitting next to Richard Williams while at the Independent on the sports desk. He writes about music and sport with immense knowledge and authority. I’ve read a couple of Richard’s books recently. Great writer rather like you Richard Williams the Pompey fan. Congratulations on promotion.
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28th April 2024 at 5:59 pm
Thanks Denys. Yes your replay poem was superb.
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26th April 2024 at 4:46 pm
Nice work, Joe. You were quick off the mark with that! Good one from Richard Williams too I see.
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25th April 2024 at 7:33 pm
Hi Denys,
Thanks mate. I’ll do it now.
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