FA Cup Final 2003 – a personal view
There was a time,
When I was just a spectator
A real hard-core, blinkered, no-nonsense,
Concentrated, non-distractable footy fan
A slouch
On the couch
Beer filling belly
As I kept up with tradition
In front of the telly
But this year (and for the last five)
The family came first
And the only thirst
That I got to slake
Belonged to four wee mites;
Two, that run and run
One, that bites
And the new arrival
So completely dependant on us,
For her own survival
And so I can only snatch
Snippets of the game
As well as sharp objects, lost money, discarded lego
Anything that could choke
… a bit like Southampton’s disappointing Wayne Bridge
Thus, instead of ardent, dedicated, mesmerised fan
I played the role, of besotted dad
And as for formation,
Well, I was all over the place :
And so it is, with one eye on the match
I try to catch
And control
The little blighters
Try to perform husbandry duties
Coo over my wife and daughter (the little beauties)
… Fully anticipating, Saints to the slaughter
And so I slotted,
Into my allotted roles
Nappy changer, tea-maker, telephone message taker
List maker, peace-maker, gardener
Welly washer, shoe fixer, lace tie-er
… Arsenal off to a flyer, Henry almost scores in the first minute
… Later, Pires does, and Arsenal win it
Cleaner, gofer, general dogsbody
… Poor game, passing’s shoddy
Chef, clown, spoon feeder, bribe merchant (whatever it took)
Shed rummager, bike shifter, knee graze kisser better
… an FA Cup first – roof closed, to prevent pitch from getting wetter
Nappy changer, tidy up leader, hoover man, apologist
(How was I to know that his Subbuteo team were camping out under the
couch?)
Nappy changer (yes again), medicine man, dispensing for a chesty cough
… Poor old Anti Niemi, stretchered off
Proud father,
Baby less than two weeks old
… Arsenal defence, not the same without Adams and Bould
She’s beautiful
Such a sweetie
… Yet still they manage to blank out Beattie
Nappy changer (you’ve no idea!), babysitter
… Arsenal looking fitter
Easel assembler, paint pot supplier
Brush dispenser, envelope licker
Postman, searching for a stamp
… Nice touch from Bergkamp
Disorganised, muddled, even though much practised and well prepared
… Great performance (only a week since his début), from young Chris Baird
Doorman, weatherman, coat finder, hide and seeker
… Seaman’s last game, as first choice keeper
Wrestling referee
Toppled, into inadvertent partaker
A playful horse
To a juvenile jockey
… Arsenal getting cocky
Oh, and lastly, a wannabe poet
… One – nil to the Arsenal, wouldn’t you just know it!
Not the most grammatically correct effort, but it’s meant to capture a mad
household and in fairness, a dull match.
Match details :
Date : Saturday 17th May, 2003
Venue : Millenium Stadium, Cardiff
Attendance : 73,726
Result : Arsenal 1 Southampton 0
Scorer : Pires, 38 minutes
Teams :
Arsenal :
Seaman, Lauren, Keown, Luzhny, Cole, Pires, Parlour, Gilberto, Ljungberg,
Henry, Bergkamp (Wiltord, 77 min)
Southampton Town :
Niemi (Jones, 66 min), Baird (Fernandes, 86 min), Lundekvam, M Svensson,
Telfer, A Svensson (Tessem, 75 min), Oakley, Marsden, Beattie, Ormerod
Referee : G Barber
Booked : Keown 29, Beattie 30, Telfer 60, Henry 68, Marsden 76, M
Svensson 90
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Welcome to Football Poets -- a club for all football poets, lovers of football and lovers of (alternative) poetry. Discover poets in every league from respected internationals at the top of their game to young hopefuls in the school playground.
Publish your football poems here and then discuss them with your team mates and fans. We're archived by The British Library, so your masterpieces are in the safe hands of a world-class keeper. What a result!
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Latest Comments
13th September 2024 at 6:14 pm
Welcome to Football Poets Beth
Great evocative poem Beth….
More please !
Haiku always welcome.
Hope we (FGR) get to play you again soon
Best
Crispin
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26th July 2024 at 6:25 pm
Great poem Mike Bartram. Eddie was a legend, affectionately known in Liverpool as, “the first hooligan.” Even the hoolies were well dressed in those days. The amazing thing was he was only 26 when that picture was taken. He’d played for Everton youth team and was well known to the players. He never got arrested. They threw him out and he climbed back in, just in time for Derek Temples winner.
I used the picture of him being tackled to the ground on the front cover of my book, “Once Upon a rhyme in Football.” It’s worth looking on youtube and finding the re-enactment of the Wembley scene. Frank Skinner and Baddiel went around to Eddies home in the 1990’s and acted it out on the green outside. It’s hilarious, especially all the effort they put in to get Eddie sober enough to shoot the scene.
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10th July 2024 at 6:07 pm
Hi Crispin,
I don’t know if you’ve see the picture in social media today…
a picture of a teenage Lionel Messi cradling a baby in Africa as part of a photoshoot…. the family had won a lottery to have their baby pictured with him….
the photographer has just revealed that the baby is actually in fact Lamine Yamal!!!!
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26th May 2024 at 2:30 pm
Hi Denys…
Re Man City:
OK it was 20 years ago but Criag Wilson did write this and a few others on them back in 04/05.
BTW I’m more Forest Green Rover since 2014 (and Chelsea) these days . I drum and am a standing season ticket holder .
Best
Crispin
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29th April 2024 at 2:47 pm
Hi Denys,
Yes Richard Williams you’re a brilliant wordsmith, my friend. When I first saw your football poetry I thought it was the superb Guardian sports and music writer. I once had the honour of sitting next to Richard Williams while at the Independent on the sports desk. He writes about music and sport with immense knowledge and authority. I’ve read a couple of Richard’s books recently. Great writer rather like you Richard Williams the Pompey fan. Congratulations on promotion.
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28th April 2024 at 5:59 pm
Thanks Denys. Yes your replay poem was superb.
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26th April 2024 at 4:46 pm
Nice work, Joe. You were quick off the mark with that! Good one from Richard Williams too I see.
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25th April 2024 at 7:33 pm
Hi Denys,
Thanks mate. I’ll do it now.
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25th April 2024 at 1:56 pm
Thanks Joe,
you might like to write a poem yourself on the same subject…
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23rd April 2024 at 4:03 pm
Hi Denys
With you all the way on the abolition of FA Cup replays. What are they doing to the game?
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