As an insane kamikaze tackle
Provoked expletives in the Northern sky
We’re reduced to ten, our backs to the wall
Whilst our skipper jets off to Dubai.
West Brom at home, Fulham away
Then Southend in the cup
A three match ban, and a well earned break (sic)
Where he’ll really live it up.
No crunching tackles, mad penalty shouts
Or eighteen yard box mayhem
Just a deckchair, X Box, and twenty snout
With the wife and kids beside him!