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Simon Gomez battled through the jungles of Peru,
In search of lands to conquer back in 1562.
With sword in hand and dreams of gold, he hacked a forest trail,
And took his armies up the Andes, searching for the Grail.
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After many months of toil he came upon a town,
Halfway up the mountainside, but also halfway down.
In the village centre stood a statue, rare and old,
Consisting of three sparkling posts, each made of solid gold.
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Two pieces stood up, eight feet tall and twenty feet apart,
The third was balanced ‘tween the two, a mighty work of art.
And Gomez watched the villagers bow down before this God.
He felt intensely jealous for he was a rotten sod.
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He lined up all the villagers and forced them to walk slowly
Through the golden statue even though they deemed it holy.
He took a strong and jewelled knife and stood next to the statue,
And marked a notch for every frightened villager that passed through.
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The procession took three hours ere the exercise was done,
And there upon the statue was a line for everyone.
Their God had been belittled by the great conquistador,
And all the natives grudgingly succumbed to Spanish law.
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Gomez won the battle, but he later lost his head.
They used it as a football when they knew that he was dead.
Though no-one mourned his passing or cried mercy for his soul,
He’s still remembered as the man who scored the golden goal