Football Poets

Tarky Pooper

The Reds were celebrating,
All primed and set to party.
They thought they had the match wrapped up,
They’d reckoned without Tarky.

The game was drawing to a close,
Just seconds on the clock.
The Koppites singing joyfully,
But then a Blue Shirt struck…

The Hour had come, the Man came too,
Tarkowski was his name.
He fired in a thunderbolt,
To earn undying fame.

The Reds thought they had clinched it.
Believed our fate was sealed.
But Tarky pooped their party,
He simply would not yield!

14/2/25
Denys E. W. Jones

Be the first to leave a comment »

David Moyes’s Blue and White Army 2025

They said we were ungrateful,
When we sacked Allardyce.
I dread to think what folk will say,
Now that we’ve dumped Sean Dyche.

But football is a business,
There is no place for ruth.
If you can’t prove you’re good enough,
You’ll surely get the boot.

Sean Dyche could not quite cut it.
We’ll cut him no more slack.
He’s had his marching orders,
And David Moyes is back!

He managed us some years ago,
A quite good job he did.
So can he do the trick again?
Not everyone’s convinced.

But love him, lump him, loathe him,
I say to every fan:
“It’s Davey in the Dugout now,
So get behind the man!”

12/1/25
Denys E. W. Jones

Be the first to leave a comment »

Everton Back in the Day

Do you recall Everton back in the day?
In years long gone by, before Ninety-Five?

Up front we had men who could stick it away,
Like Bill Dean, Bob Latchford, McKenzie and Gray.

Our midfielders shone like a high-noon sun’s ray.
A joy to behold, such skills on display.

Ball passed to a Blue Shirt, not given away.
With always somebody to dictate the play.

Our rock-hard defence kept attackers at bay.
And as for our Keepers, there’s nowt we need say.

Except that they pulled off incredible saves.
And never dropped balls on which forwards might prey.

That we gathered Trophies it goes without saying.
It’s hardly surprising, the way we were playing.

But now we’re in danger, as none can gainsay.
One point ‘bove the Drop Zone with nineteen to play.

Yet we’ll keep our heads cool, our nerves calm will stay.
We shall not lose heart, we’ll still keep the Faith.

Sure after these dark times a new dawn shall break,
And all of our critics will see how we’ll play:

Like Everton, Everton back in the day!

7/1/25
Denys E. W. Jones

1 Comment »

Stuck at the Bottom with You

Well I don’t know why we’re feeling this fright,
But it’s clear that something ain’t quite right.
And our noses feel so out of joint,
Three games played and not a single point!
Clowns in the Boardroom,
Snowflakes on the pitch,
Stuck at the bottom with you.

Now we kicked off against Brighton,
And they beat us by three goals to nil.
Then at Spurs we let four more in,
So again a case of Satis Nil.
But the Cherry on the cake
Was when Bournemouth scored three late,
When we’d thought a two-goal lead was enough…

After that we don’t know what to say.
Thank God here’s an International Break.
And then it’s Aston Villa we play –
Might sneak a point or three from that game.
Meanwhile there ain’t much that we can do,
Cos we’re… stuck at the bottom with you!

3/9/24
Denys E. W. Jones

Be the first to leave a comment »

Que Sera Sera

When I was just a little boy,
I asked my mother who I’d support.
Would it be Villa, Leeds or Man U?
Here is her proud retort:

“Que sera sera,
Whatever will be will be.
You’re gonna be a Toffee,
Que sera sera.”

Still I had not made up my mind,
I asked my father who I’d root for.
Would it be Chelsea, Spurs or West Ham?
He let me know the score:

“Que sera sera,
Whatever will be will be.
It won’t be no Cockney team,
Que sera sera.”

But I was still not quite convinced,
I asked my brother for more advice.
How about That Lot across The Park?
Their Strip looks really nice.

“OMG, MG,
Don’t follow that Red-Shirt team.
They wouldn’t be right for thee,
Them nor Bill Shankly.”

Then at that point, said to myself,
“Ma, Pa and Bro, they all agree.
So it looks like I have no choice,
A Toff I’ll have to be.

Que sera sera,
Whatever will be will be.
A Bluenose too I shall be,
Que sera sera…”

Lots of time now has passed since then,
Next year I shall be sixty-three.
And I’m still here, at this ripe age,
Chanting COYB.

Que sera sera,
Whatever will be will be.
A Toffee I’ll always be,
Que sera sera.

9/8/24
Denys E. W. Jones

Be the first to leave a comment »

Twenty-Five Percent

“Twenty-five percent possession?
Doesn’t sound that much.
Twenty-five percent possession?
Surely not enough.
Twenty-five percent possession?
Reckon we’ll need more.
Let the Red Shirts hog the ball,
No doubt they will score.”

Hunger, pride and nude aggression,
They can take you far.
You don’t need too much possession,
Sometimes less is more.
Plus a Ground that’s full of passion,
Hear the Bluenose Roar.
Liverpool were taught a lesson,
When we two goals scored.

25/4/24
Denys E. W. Jones

Be the first to leave a comment »

Updated Hokey Cokey

You take ten points off.
You give four points back.
Off, back, off, back,
You hang ’em on a rack.
You do the Hokey Cokey,
And you turn around,
Is that what it’s all about?

You take two more off.
Two more docked.
Off, docked, off, docked,
It’s way over the top.
It isn’t okey dokey,
It’s right out of bounds,
What is this all about?

Oh the hokey cokey.
Oh the hokey cokey.
Oh the hokey cokey.

How much more can we take?

8/4/24
Denys E. W. Jones

Be the first to leave a comment »

When Dominic Finds The Net

When Dominic finds the Net again, hurrah, hurrah,
We’ll give him a stand’ ovation then, hurrah, hurrah.
We’ll all beg for his autograph,
And a selfie, and we’ll share a laugh,
And we’ll be all smiles when Dominic scores again.

Our Dominic’s gone right off the boil, alas, alas.
He works so hard, he sweats and toils, oh yes, oh yes.
He hits the post and he strikes the bar,
He comes so close and he’s still so far,
Cos that ball refuses to go in the Bag.

Time was he scored in ev’ry game, hurrah, hurrah.
And got a call from G. Southgate, hurrah, hurrah.
But oh dear, then he picked up a knock,
And he spent months sidelined as a crock,
And he just ain’t been the same since he came back.

When Dominic scores a goal again, hurrah, hurrah,
He’ll start to rock ‘n’ roll again, hurrah, hurrah.
The cocks will crow and the dogs will bark,
And they’ll hear our roar across the Park,
Yeah, we’ll raise the roof when Dominic finds the Net!

3/3/24
Denys E. W. Jones

Be the first to leave a comment »

The Hokey Cokey

You take ten points off.
You give four points back.
Off, back, off, back,
You shake ’em in a sack.
You do the Hokey Cokey,
And you turn around,
Is that what it’s all about?

26/2/24
Denys E. W. Jones

Be the first to leave a comment »

Hats Off To The Hatters

We cried “Bring on the Hatters!”
We thought “Already won.”
But Luton Town would not lie down,
Defeated us two-one.
So out of the Cup we crash.
Our Silverware hopes are in tatters.
Note to selves should read: “Be less complacent
Next time we play the Hatters.”

28/1/24
Denys E. W. Jones

Be the first to leave a comment »