No Grounds For Complaint

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 From Bertie Bowl to Fransdowne Road,
The journey’s long and winding.
But Bertie has his word bestowed,
And, as we know, that’s binding.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 They say he’s pledged in days of yore,
And then had to withdraw it,
Like last time and the time before,
And then the time before it.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 But this time everything has changed
It really is uncanny.
The building work has been arranged,
He swears it on his granny.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 While construction’s underway,
The DART won’t be affected,
So overcrowding and delay
Will not be unexpected.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Mary must have deigned to give
Her blessing ‘pon the project.
PD voters mustn’t live
Around this massive object.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Will Bertie’s statue stand outside
This marvellous erection?
Will its completion coincide
With Ireland’s next election?

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 Oh, stay my lips and hush my tongue!
Such thoughts are reprehensible.
Insinuations have been flung,
Unjust and indefensible.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 Bertie wouldn’t tell us lies,
There’s no grounds for suspicions.
Why must we always criticise
Our selfless politicians?


Bertie has stopped his dithering, under pressure from FAI supremo Fran Rooney, and approved the upgrading of Lansdowne Road as the new National Stadium. The 50,000 seater will cater for football, rugby and gaelic games, and probably, but not definitely, marks the end of the so-called Bertie Bowl in Abbotstown [see “Gunfight at the Not Very OK Corral” for the story up till about a year ago.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/no-grounds-for-complaint/