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She came back into the living room all mascara stains and angst
Then gave these poignant parting words to the sofa bound young Manc
“If you think I’ll share my dreams with you and eleven blokes who spit
You’re very much mistaken I’m going back to mum that’s it”
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“Babe!” he said “Yer eyes are red from the tears that you’ve cried
I was listening to what you said before, but that last goal was just offside
The way I’ve treated you lately is a joke as you’ll agree
But can we talk about this later after extra time and penalties?
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The door slams shut and Pizzahut is where he now dines alone
A life of watching Sky as one is sadly all there is at home
If her indoors is blimmin bored by remote controlled Man Yoo
Of course she’d bugger off back to her mums
I would as well wouldn’t you?