There Will Be A Pitch Inspection At………..

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 The ground was hard as concrete
The ice on top was cold
As the referee said “Its off, I’m afraid”
Those queuing up were told

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 A jobsworth said “Its off boys,
I’m sorry that is it”
As the bobble hatted fans made other plans
Whilst blowing warm breath on their mits

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 The crowd dispersed to a Christmas verse
From choristers in the street
As the loyal punters who had turned up
Trudged off with frozen feet

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 T’was a Saturday in late December
The kind you don’t forget
But when three-o-clock came and the boys ran out
You dispensed with all regret

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 This day was very different of course
The game would not be played
As a gang of blokes laughed and joked
Then jumped up and down, to keep cold at bay

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Fans stood in street like sad lost sheep
Wondered what to do
Perhaps go to the movies, the betting shop,
Or the boozer? No thank you!

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 The streets were getting slushy
As the fans complained and moaned
This lost afternoon was so blimmin boring
Like an Arsenal match at home?

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 Programme sellers were packing up
As the hot dog stalls did smell
Nobody was coming out today
Perhaps t’was just as well?

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 The talk was of the Christmas games
How thick and fast they came
T’was a relevant part of the season
Where crucial points were gained

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 As hip flasks were passed by those ski masked
To warm the well chilled bones
The thoughts were of the players
In warm plush hotels or home

11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 The fans wrapped up in layers
In gloved hands waved goodbye
As the empty stadium looked down to the snow white streets
On the freezing passers by

12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 The locals couldn’t believe it
Their streets were football fan free
As the publicans rubbed their hands with glee
On a postponed Saturday!


This was one very weird way of spending a Saturday afternoon.

You’ve made yer way to the ground listened on the transistor radio all the way there and then….Its Off! Right at the last moment.

Last minute pitch inspections can go in yer favour or go against yer. Though its obviously not as bad nowadays with much better undersoil heating and more modern means of communication to the travelling fan.

It was not unusual to be half way up the motorway to be told by the local radio station that the match is postponed either, which is right out of order?



Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/there-will-be-a-pitch-inspection-at/