Oh fate shine upon us
When shuffling them balls
Pray do the decent thing
And make sure we travel.
We can’t win the toss at the moment
When ever we’re playing at home
Said me prayers Sunday lunch, for postponment
That yer man above, chose to ignore.
One home point from nine is disaster
If we’re aiming to stay at the top
What we need is a hand from the master (Zola)
When his team play them boys from The Kop.
Phone health and safety
To shut down our ground
If we play every game away
Things might turn round.
We could play our home games at The Cottage
Or Big Phil, could check out Loftus Road
Al Fayed could do with the rent if he’s honest
Why, we could even buy Rangers, a new Stanley Bowles.
Oi Roman! Put yer hand in yer pocket
And buy us a ground where we’ll win
Cos Big Phil firing his interval rocket
At our home games, don’t seem to be working!