Football Poets

“She moves, in mysterious ways”
So do the modern balls
“She moves, in mysterious ways”
As do the sneakily inching walls

“She moves, in mysterious ways”
As do the tricky wingers’ hips
And he moved in mysterious […]

Leading with the elbow –
Not a pretty sight
And all too indicative
Of a mucky modern blight

And the fact that it was Rooney
Who landed the blow
Peeves all the purists
And fills us with woe

For he knows, and we […]

Go to Chelsea –
A certain 80’s incantation
By an observant Elvis
Of the Costello incarnation

Now I always loved the song
But hated the lyrics –
For they were quite the opposite
Of what I found most apposite

And […]

It’s the arched eyebrow
That’ll be missed the least
In a results orientated business
Failure is such an unsexy beast

Where second is nowhere
And fourth the absolute minimum requirement
For this cataclysmic […]

Wee Sian Massey
A bright li’l lassie
Kept her flag firmly down
And built up her renown

Now it caused quite a rumpus
But her decision disnae stump us
For it was right on the nail
However much Wolves want to […]

I could not score; I dared not preen
And yet the egotist in me, still caused a scene
And now this facile tally, oh so low
Is seen as some concomitant blow
So I must face, the angry hordes
From among the many, not […]

*
but
all I want
for Christmas
are two front men
who’ll score again, with
acumen; make that accuracy;
that, dear Santa, plus the league
at a
canter

On the twelfth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Twelve Gunners gurning
Eleven strikers shooting
Ten scored and leaping
Nine Bradys chipping
Eight Blades a-blazing
Seven Grecians playing
Sick Swans […]

If England is the home of football
and Brazil is the heart –
then what of Qatar?

Will it pump with an impassioned lifeblood –
or just be a sticky mucus
clogging the nose and chest?

Yes, they’ll invest
multiple […]

The Russians would prefer an auction
The Qataris and Spanish prefer to barter
The Brits with a stiff upper lip
Abide by the Order of the Garter

Mr FIFA and his minions
Just try to brush under the carpet
They all […]

“Everyone’s a winner babe”
So sang Errol Brown of Hot Chocolate fame
But that social inclusion sentiment
Doesn’t translate to our Beautiful Game!

So while one half of the combatants may be ahead
We could quickly […]

I’ve whirled away in ecstasy
So many times
Arms aloft and mobbed
Inspired so many rhymes

I’ve whirled away in sheer delight
Every time we’ve scored
Usually been the fulcrum
The reason the crowd’s roared

Now I’m […]

Double figures?
It really shouldn’t be so hard
As easy as rhyming?
So says the bard

Double figures?
Surely achievable
That no-one else has…
Truly unbelievable

Double figures?
The least of my ambitions
Never l […]

Eoin, you were the freebird
That flew up and down the field
And it could’ve been your Dad reffing
But you didn’t need him as a shield

You had stars in your eyes
Every time you took to the pitch
But now there’s an […]

To all the girls I’ve ever loved before –
I’m afraid t’would be too short a ditty;
To all the jokes I’ve ever uttered –
Not enough of them were witty

To all the sums I got right at skool –
Well they wouldn’t fill […]

through ball to zenith
goal there on the horizon
nadir blocks

Match Day 20
Friday 2nd July:

Netherlands 2 Brazil 1
Missed it!

Uruguay 1 Ghana 1
Uruguay win 4-2 on penalties

Suarez lays claim
To deified limb
Africa aghast
Their faces grim

Gyan grits
Nervous teeth
But […]

No doubt in my mind
The team of the tournament
Argue at will

Stood between the sticks
Stekelenberg stakes his claim
Goalkeeper’s jersey

Was it or wasn’t it
Maicon means a goal challenge
When he connects

Puyol […]

Losses are rarely borne with a sense of impunity
Unless perhaps a friendly
Or covered by this shield of Community

Deadly rivals bossed this early opportunity
But any repeat in the season won’t be tolerated
For […]

Old wounds have been opened up
Because an ignoramus opens his mouth
And engages without thinking –

Just another politician
Bringing malice without forethought

So Football families besmirched once more
By the […]