Football Poets

He didn’t celebrate
He was just doing his job
But his jubilant team mates
Formed euphoric mob

“God’s” goal added
To the other two
But the Celtic faithful
Couldn’t boo

Stunned into silence
This was just what […]

It was as innocuous
As getting milk out of the fridge –
Use by Sept 11th …
And it brought to mind, all those lives
So pitifully ended
Back in 2001 –
Of all the futures soured
By the curdled morals
Of callous […]

MK Dons, League One
Ranked between 45th and 68th best team,
in the whole of the land, at season’s premiere
In amongst some illustrious names,
like past giants Blackpool and Sheffield Wednesday
and recent enough […]

Silvio Berlusconi
Strikes with the might
Of his omnipotent right

Busy Blair blunders
Hacking with suppressed glee
At the other knee

For the Vinnie Jones of politics
A holiday thriller
At Tuscan Villa

Prompting […]

He nailed it
Met the cross
And buried it

So that we might live
And breathe
And roar out his name

Blasphemy
Unbecoming
Of our Passion

When I die
Will I find the meaning of life?
When I cross over to the other side
(No, not in that sense;
the Red Devils won’t get me, for I’ll always be a true Blue)
Will I be enlightened, as to the purpose of our […]

As Bolton wandered
In a desert of achievement
They needed uplifting
As if from bereavement

And lo! Akin to a mirage
From the Reebok oasis
Yet another nomad emerges
To be put through his paces

For every one of […]

You might remember the fun we had adapting Book titles in football pun fashion, prompted at the time by The Big Read series on BBC2?
(see the poem entitled – The Big Read : fun with puns,
under poet : Team […]

@ close range
he could see the whites of the keepers eyes
@ close range
he could visualise the ol’ onion bag bulging
@ close range
he could see the strings enmeshed
could tell which way the chord twisted
could see […]

The goalposts :
draw our attention
focus our aim
set our goals

The goalposts :
come to our aid
deflecting in
or out, as required

The goalposts :
the ultimate target
as we strive
to achieve

The goalposts […]

Les –
you old warrior
still battling

Rio –
your every move
starts a bidding war

Franz –
your death
set off the real deal

For there be somewhere
A land where I would go
Where there would be football pitches
Of pristine green
No lumps, no bumps
No bullies, no thumps
A place, where the touchlines would be sugar coated
Where there would […]

With a purpose, we sing
To you strangers …
Just to ensure
That we, loyal men
Glorify our stars –
Goals roared, wins sealed, points peeled, titles totalled.
Hark: we trumpet our team,
From salmon like striker, to […]

And there on the rolling banks
Of the Shed’s packed terracing
We swayed and prayed
As the choir of terror sing

Clean yer ears, mate
there’s never been a Fish at Chelsea
Mark, over at the Valley, it’s true
but never a scaly customer, in Royal Blue

and there ain’t no tench
ready to come off the bench

filling the Bridge, […]

Chemistry : passion, piss and hot roasted peanuts; a potent mixture
History : so many dates of defeat, at practically every fixture
Music : so many songs and chants; and words definately not Shakespeare
Geography […]

My pillow slip
Is filled with girls ‘n’ goals ‘n’ ghouls :
How I wish it would reverberate
To the celebration of scoring –
Instead of just
Some sad old git
Steadfastly snoring!

May the magic in your boots
Outshine the sunfire by the sea
And for everyone of you that shoots
Let there be such celebrations of glee!

the object of my affection
counts me in
at the turnstile

the object of my affection
rings the till
as I pull on my shirt

I object, that my affection
probably wouldn’t
be noticed otherwise

This is football: to thine own self be true,
And you must follow, as the bonus the pay,
Thou canst not then be false, to the new man-
ager.
Farewell; this guessing season seeks not the truth to be!